Dumb it down

OK, why are some people saying that the US election is now over?

It’s still a good few weeks until voters go to the polls, but basically Republican candidate Mitt Romney made somewhat of a gaff at a $50,000 a head function,  and everyone is now going apesh*t.

A gaff? What like when he slagged off London hosting The Olympics while actually in London?

Er, kinda, but a bit more catastrophic than that. See good aul’ Mitt was giving a speech in front of a room full of (obviously extremely well-off) supporters, when he made some controversial comments about 47 percent of Americans.

Er, ya gonna tell me what he said?

Calm down, yes; now stop scratching there and pay attention. Romney said that 47 percent of Americans "believe they are victims," thus will vote for Obama no matter what he does. Although he does point out that “it would help” if he was Latino – his old man was born in Mexico but he’s whiter than an asexual vampire. He then added (wrongly, according to reports) that said percentile are “too dependent on government” so it “wasn’t his job”  to worry about those people.

Jaysus. What was the reaction of the American public?

Romney was in the middle of “rebooting” his campaign; which translates to "it wasn going that well anyway." But the left-leaning media (who would almost always side with Democrats in a toss-up) have been hammering him – as too have his own party, who are getting increasingly pissed off with his messing up.

Did he deny the claims?

Nope, there was video footage so he couldn't; he came right out to a press conference the next day with a massive sh*t-eating grin and admitted everything; but simply stated they could’ve been “more eloquently put”.

What are the polls like now?

They have been particularly wild of late with both party conventions taking place. But a New York Times poll gave Obama a 75.2 percent chance of winning – if the election was to take place tomorrow.  But there is still a long way off, and the debates, which are huge for swing-voters, have yet to take place.