Dumb it down
What's all this about new public toilets in Dublin City?
For years, Dubliners have been forced to relieve themselves in the various back streets of the city due to a lack of public facilities. However, it looks like things could soon change.
What’s all this about new public toilets in the city?
Well, before you start on a “how much will be pissed away because of this” rant, there aren’t any new public toilets being set up around the city. Instead, the council hopes to form a new public private partnership (or PPP) with a slight difference. Instead of having pub and club goers pissing on doorsteps, the council hopes that local businesses will open their doors to anyone bursting for a slash, during opening hours of course.
But hang on, why don’t we have public toilets like every other major city in the world?
Well we did – back in the 70s, 80s and 90s. They were shut down in the 90s due to severe anti-social behaviour and they haven’t been reopened due to a lack of funding. That’s why the council hopes to use existing toilets found in local businesses.
But will I have to buy something before I’ll be allowed to drain the snake?
No, and that’s the beauty of this PPP. You’re probably used to seeing ‘Toilets for Customer Use Only’ signs hanging on the front doors of certain businesses and restaurants. Well, the PPP would be conducted completely out of the goodness of the businesses’ bladders, so you wouldn’t be expected to leave a donation or to buy the cheapest thing in the shop. However, Dublin Council did say that businesses would have the right to refuse entry in “exceptional circumstances”.
Ah, I see. So what’s the current situation with public facilities in the city?
Basically, there are none. You might see the odd portable toilet on Camden Street and Westmoreland Street on Friday and Saturday nights, but these are for blokes only and they only hang around for a few hours before they’re carted off to be cleaned. As for the ladies of Dublin, if they’re bursting to go then they have no other choice but to find an open business willing to let them go for free, or head down a side street – which doesn’t really seem safe, now does it.
Jaysus, that’s bad order alright. So where did the council get this idea?
The PPP idea actually comes from the Richmond Council in London who currently operates a similar scheme with over 100 local businesses. The businesses that don’t have a problem with people nipping in for a slash have a sticker on their front window indicating that you can ‘pee freely’. We’re not sure if that’s the actual text used, but we’re copyrighting it in case our council wants to use it (we’re not actually).