Dumb it down

NASA have informed us that they have pinpointed thousands of super massive black holes and other extreme objects that have formed galaxies in the cosmic zoo known as ‘hot dogs’. So what does it all mean?

By Declan Whooley

Hold on….hot dogs? How on earth could they find their way into outer space?

If you read the intro properly I would not need to repeat myself. While you may be thinking of a tasty and distinctly American-esque food, these hot dogs are quite different.

NASA’s high-tech telescope turned up over 1,000 hot, dust-obscured galaxies. The term itself comes from HOT, Dust-Obscured Galaxies which, hey presto, gives you hot dog.

OK. That makes more sense than perishable food standing the test of time in outer space. Are these hot dogs close to us?

Not yet anyway. Scientists believe that they are about 10 billion light years away and were formed when the universe was a fraction of its present age.

So how were these hotdogs formed?

NASA offer quite a thorough and detailed explanation that would be fit to cure insomnia for even the lightest sleeper, but I’ll condense the information.

Basically they are formed when two spiral galaxies collide, creating a whirlwind of dust and stars that emits 100 trillion times the light of our sun. So it can be pretty powerful.

So what do hot dogs do?

Hot dogs fuse together surrounding matter at high speeds, eventually drawing nearby galaxies into a collision course with one another. With this in mind, the Milky Way and our nearest neighbour, the Andromeda galaxy (don’t pretend like you never heard of it) may end up forming a hot dog in the distant future.

Sounds dangerous. Define ‘distant future’.

Rachel Somerville, an astrophysicist at Rutgers University, estimates that this should not happen for another 2 billion years.

And who are we to argue with a woman who researches this stuff for a living?

I'll take her word for it. I think I still prefer the hot dogs of a food variety. Any interesting trivia about those hot dogs?

Well officially, the world record for most hot dogs eaten in ten minutes is 68, held by Joey Chestnut, who has managed the feat twice. The Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest is held annually and last year drew more than 40,000 spectators.

Unofficially, the record goes to Takeru Kobayashi after he scoffed 69 hot dogs last year. He was not allowed compete in the official competition as he wouldn’t sign a contract with Major League Eating, but here is the video proof of his feat. Highly impressive I think you will agree.

Both men are evenly poised with six world titles each, but a contractual dispute meant Kobayashi did not compete. Forget Pacquiao-Mayweather, Button-Hamilton or Messi-Ronaldo, Chestnut-Kobayashi is the duel people want to see.