Website to Waste Time: The Calming Manatee
With tight deadlines and a stressful workload, we at JOE have a secret weapon to help us unwind - the soothing, non-judgemental wisdom of the Calming Manatee.
Manatees are affectionately known as the cows of the sea and indeed their lumbering frames and friendly faces mean that you'd never be afraid by the presence of one if you were scuba diving; rather than you'd try to lean in for a hug instead. Thus they're the perfect species for a randomly-generated image blog to sooth the stressed.
We at JOE first came across CalmingManatee.com when staff member Amy Wall was busy being called rude names by Simon Pegg and the sight of seabound wine-pouring, ice-cream providers was enough to brighten Amy's spirits while an army of Pegg sycophants called for her head.
Yet the Calming Manatee is not just for stressed ladies or girlfriends who want to be told that they can eat ice-cream no matter their diet - in fact, all of us at JOE found ourselves turning to manatee guidance for the most trying tasks at JOE.ie.
Whether we're in a tizzy over trying to conjure 200 pointless words to accompany Georgia Salpa tweeting a shot of herself in a bikini or getting locked in the toilet by accident (five times for me, by my last count), we're grateful that our favourite magnanimous mammals are just a few clicks away.
Who wouldn't want to hug this big lug?
Run by Ehthercycle.com, the site is a simple but effective piece of viral timewasting, as it simply uses the "Roflbot" template to add text and captions to a photo, in this case stock images of manatees.
However, the advice from said manatees is so good that we find that the greeting card store is a lot more tempting than it should be, while the site's handlers also get brownie points for linking to Donate.net's Save the Manatee protection efforts.
Indeed, all three species of manatee (West Indian, Amazonian and West African) are vulnerable to extinction, mostly because they're so slow-moving that they end up getting struck accidentally by boats. Ouch.
He probably doesn't mean it but he has a trustworthy face
So while manatees may not be as beautiful or smart as fellow marine mammals such as dolphins, they'll be there whenever you need them, whether it's to remind you that everything will be OK, to generously offer to brush your hair after a tough day in the office or when telling you to "Get it, girl!" no matter your gender.
Why, you might even say that this is one site that's got stress relief down to a mana-TEE.
*Cough* No? Nobody? Fine, we're heading back to the manatee - he never judges us.