There are TV shows we’d be expected to watch, then there are shows that are our guilty pleasures. We all have at least one, and in JOE’s case we’ve a fair few.
By Frank McCann
Everyone has a guilty pleasure when it comes to what they watch on the box. We all have that certain show that nearly makes you change the channel when someone walks into the room, one that you will never talk to anyone about, but you are as happy as a pig in shit while watching it.
With this in mind, JOE looks at some of the guilty pleasures currently running on television. No longer will you be alone with your shame about the shows you choose to watch. We all have (at least) one.
Jersey Shore
MTV’s hit series is currently running its third season, and has become essential watching for fans of the show worldwide. The “Shore” is a show that makes most of us cringe to our very bones, but for some reason we cannot resist watching it!
So, what is it that makes Jersey Shore so damn watchable? Well, it really comes down to making us feel better about ourselves.
Every week we tune in, we see the mayhem that ensues on the show. We laugh at the cast’s greasy guido style, cringe at the scandalous hook-ups, absorb the atmosphere surrounding the over-dramatic fighting, but mostly we watch it for the mind-blowing quotes of stupidity.
Take these for example:
“My Ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a nice, juiced, hot tanned guy, and live my life.” – Snooki (the show’s naïve oompa loompa)
“That’s what you get from putting a fat girl’s ass in your face. That’s how you get pink eye.” – Ronnie (over-pumped muscle head)
“Tall, completely jacked, steroids, like, multiple growth hormones. That’s what I’m attracted to.” –J-Woww (the huge-chested, violent one)
WWE Wrestling
Professional Wrestling is becoming a “sport” that is less and less acceptable to watch. Following the wrestling boom of the late eighties that seen Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior become larger than life celebrities, the “sports entertainment” scene lost its popularity. However, it boomed once again in the late nineties and early noughties which seen the birth of Stone Cold Steve Austin, and more notably, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
However, with the rise of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, the phonyness of Pro-Wrestling has become even more obvious, with many branding it a “male soap opera”.
Well, that’s exactly what it is. So why not enjoy it for that reason? Why is acceptable to sit at home watching Coronation street, Eastenders and, god forbid, Fair City, but it’s considered pathetic to watch wrestling, even if they are wearing tights?
John Cena – Mark Wahlberg’s long lost brother
Pro-wrestling ratings have been dropping in recent years, largely down to the death or exodus of many of the company’s top stars. All-American hero, John Cena, has been the WWE’s flagship superstar in recent years but has recieved a mixed reception by the ‘wrasslin’ audience, and in a desperate move to improve viewership numbers, World Wrestling Entertainment has re-hired Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson on a permanent basis. The movie career mustn’t be going the best so, eh Dwayne?
With the company’s biggest event of the year, Wrestlemania XXVII, just around the corner, now would be the perfect time for all you closet grappling fans to once again feast your eyes on the delightful tackiness that is the WWE.
Take Me Out
The dating show, hosted by Ray Foley is one hour of pure cringe-worthy torture, however we find it one of the hardest shows to switch off.
Each week, thirty ladies partake in a dating game that will make you feel so uncomfortable it’ll make your toes curl. The women stand behind lit-up podiums, while the shameless men perform their party pieces for their approval. If the girls don’t like what they see, they turn their light off. Take Me Out is a game of pure cruelty.
On paper, this programme is a fantastic watch for the female demographic, but what makes the show so popular with men?
Cilla Black never thought she’d see this
Quite simply, we love seeing other guys making fools of themselves on national TV, and although it can be hard to bear sometimes, it is car-crash viewing that is near-impossible to stop watching.
Also, it’s interesting to note how damn stuck-up the Irish women are, compared to the UK version of the show. On several occasions this season, Ireland’s “lovely girls” turned out their lights without giving the poor guys half a chance. It really highlights how shallow a lot of Irish women actually are!
The Jeremy Kyle show
“Next on the Jeremy Kyle Show, those ‘all important’ DNA results…”
What better way to spend a weekday morning? Often criticized for being exploitive and sensationalist, Jeremy Kyle is one of daytime television’s edgier shows.
For anybody living under a rock, and has never experienced to stunning beauty that is Jeremy Kyle (the show, not the man), it consists of shameless confrontations between people who wear yesterday’s clothes and walk around with ketchup on their face.
Jeremy Kyle – Badass putdown king
Most episodes will involve a couple having relationship difficulties, or maybe even doubts on who their kids belong to (trust me, that’s only the tip of the iceberg), coming onto “national TV” to air their dirty laundry.
However, the main reason many of us indulge in this utter crap, is to hear the amazing “advice” that uncle Jeremy gives us. His putdowns are corny gold. Here are a few of his best:
“You WILL shut up, this is the Jeremy Kyle show and my name’s on the wall” – Jeremy is fiercely proud of his wall
“Look at you… in your shellsuit” – Jeremy doesn’t like shellsuits
“You’re a loy-ah” – Jeremy doesn’t like liars
Glee
How many of you will admit to being a “Gleek”?
The hit TV series is one of the cheesiest shows ever seen, but for all those who have a low tolerance for all things over-the-top, romantic and tacky, you would be surprised at how addictive this show can actually be. It’s far from the nightmare you’d be expecting.
Glee is one of those shows you watch in between your fingers. There is nearly something taboo about it from a male perspective; you’re not supposed to enjoy it, but you do!
Gee? Finger? We don’t get it
What draws us towards it? Well rather than saying the catchy musical numbers, we decided the mostly heterosexual answer would be: for the hot girls in their cheerleader outfits. Ya, that’s why we watch it… we think.
We mightn’t have the all the answers, but while browsing the web we came across this excellent guy’s guide to the show. We hope it helps: http://m.gawker.com/5746145/a-glee–guide-for-straight-guys
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