Just the 146 goals scored in two, slightly dodgy, end-of-season games in Nigeria

Has a team ever won 67-0 and failed to progress because their rivals won 79-0 before? We doubt it.

When you think of classic tight finishes to football seasons you think of Arsenal pipping Liverpool in 1989 or Manchester City winning it on goal difference the season before last. But all of those great ending have been knocked into a cocked hat by a pair of results in the Nigerian amateur league. According to a report on kickoffnigeria.com the final day of games in the Nigerian Amateur Division 4, the sixth tier of football in the country, was pretty outrageous. In the playoff system in use, two teams, Police Machine and Plateau United Feeders, were level on points going into the final game. If both won, goal difference would decide who progressed to the next phase. The lads from the brilliantly named Police Machine went out and hammered Bubayaro FC 67-0. Job done you would think. Oh no. Instead, Plateau United Feeders went out and stuck just the 79 past Akurba FC to win 79-0. That’s damn near a goal a minute and even though we’ve played on some crap teams in our time, even the most rubbish defence can’t be that bad. The authorities are not too impressed. The results have been cancelled and the officials for the games are being investigated. The lads at Kickoff helpfully publish all the group results, just to show you how mad those final games were. MD1 Plateau Feeder FC 2-0 Bubayaro Akurba 0-2 Police Machine MD2 Plateau Utd Feeders 0-0 Police Machine Bubayaro FC 0-0 Akurba FC MD3 Police Machine 67-0 Bubayaro Plateau United Feeders 79-0 Akurba FC Reports that Robbie Keane's boyhood dream was to play for Plateau United Feeders are unconfirmed...