Football opinion

Arsenal's win over Manchester United reawakened the Premier League title race, while another Barcelona-Real Madrid bitch-fight will have us glued to the TV screens tonight.

By Tom Moss

Don't you just hate those dolled-up tarts in pubs and clubs all around the country who have performed just the right combination of sexual favours and back-stabbing to have reached an inflamed position of self-importance? Little else matters in their world as they parade around their fishbowl looking down on the riff-raff. Surrounded by slack-jawed admirers, they can say and do pretty much anything and get away with it scot free.

Given the leeway to do so, they generally end up being snobby, boorish and impersonable, and even as time goes by and their external beauty gradually wanes, you are still left with the elevated grandiosity of a bitter and pretentious old bitch.

The rising power and influence of the top European clubs has become an inherent part of the culture of European football over the years. No two clubs exploit this situation more than Real Madrid and Barcelona, and as these sulking giants start to age, the exposure of their less than perfect nature has become increasingly obvious.

Two of the sexiest characters in this increasingly sordid tale come toe to toe again tonight in what has become one of the most drawn out, anti-climactic bitch fights in the history of football. The Prada handbags are ready, the hair is tied up and the nails have been lacquered so hard that a sliding tackle from David Luiz wouldn't chip them. Yes, it's Barcelona v Real Madrid, Part IV. Whoop dee f***in' doo.

The lofty expectations have been sufficiently dashed by their recent trio of clashes to suggest that tonight's tie will be far from the unmissable event that it was billed as as soon as the Spanish superpowers were drawn against each other. But all the cosmetic surgery in the world won't hide the scars that have been left behind.

Amidst all the diving, play-acting, allegations and counter-allegations, both have lost their reputation as beautiful, respectable and admirable clubs. Few reputations have avoided the cull and last week's farce showed both up as the ugly, deceitful dogs that they are.

But still, we'll all be glued to it because say what you want, a bitch fight of any kind is hard to ignore.

Arsenal and the burden of responsibility

Younger, slimmer and more fun, the likes of Arsenal may point the way forward. Like some precocious youngsters, they suffered severely with the burden of responsibility. But when they blew their chances of success they were liberated from the pressures and against Manchester United on Sunday afternoon they played with the happy freedom of a teenager at their first disco.

With Wilshere and Ramsey pulling the strings in midfield, the petulant youngsters outdid the older, wiser but less vibrant league-leaders and in doing so have opened the door slightly for the equally laborious Chelsea who only overcame Spurs thanks to two generous decisions from the linesmen.

The now-monthly debate about goal-line technology rose its head again. Those who were wronged called it in a joke that football still dwelt in the dark ages, but those who benefited stayed quiet and enjoyed their ill-gotten rewards. We said here this day last week that there was still a potential twist in the tail.