JOE's Transfer Tracker

Today's transfer wrap-up features Clint Dempsey, Michael Ballack and some dude called the Lord of the Manor of Frodsham. Intrigued? Come this way.

Have you ever heard of the Lord of the Manor of Frodsham? No? You’re probably wondering what the hell somebody with such a ridiculous name is doing in a transfer wrap-up, but if I told you that said Lord has a Champions League winner’s medal, would that make it any clearer?

OK, we’ll stop messing about. The man to whom we refer is ex-Liverpool striker Djibril Cisse and possibly the most eccentric man ever to play in the Premier League. Ever see that red suit he wore to his wedding, for God’s sake?

Anyway, Cisse might be about to make a return to the Premier League as it is being suggested this morning that QPR are ready to take him off Lazio, where he has been playing second fiddle to Miroslav Klose of late. At this late stage, it looks like it might just be a loan deal, but we hope it does come about, if only because it means Joey Barton mightn’t be the centre of attention around Loftus Road for a while.

Like QPR, Aston Villa could do with a striker or two now it has become fairly clear our own Robbie Keane is unlikely to hang around the midlands after March. Currently in Alex McLeish’s radar is Malaga striker José Salomón Rondon, a big Venezuelan who’s not totally dissimilar from Emile Heskey, apart from the fact that he doesn’t usually fall on his arse at the first sight of goal.

Villa, of course, have had success with Central American players before, such as Juan Pablo Angel, whose son is already shaping up to be a better footballer than his Dad ever was.

The most ridiculous rumour of the day comes from the folks at Caught Offside, who are hinting that Michael Ballack, yes 35-year old Michael Ballack, could be on his way to Manchester United.

Could both these lads end up at Man United in the near future? In a word, no.

We think that it’s way too far-fetched to be even considered, but consider this: With the Frank Lampard rumours not quite yet put to bed, how about a United midfield quartet of Giggs, Scholes, Ballack and Lampard next season? The oldest midfield in history? In fact don’t consider it because it’s never going to happen.

A more likely possibility given his scoring form of late is Clint Dempsey moving to a club that actually has a chance of winning something. The Metro say that Arsenal are one of a number of clubs interested in signing the American after he admitted his interest in playing in the Champions League. Dempsey moving to the Gunners would involve Arsene Wenger actually having to spend some money, however, so perhaps it’s best to file that one in the maybe pile for now.

With only a few days left in the window, a few actual deals have taken place over the last 24 hours. Alex has rejoined old boss Carlo Ancelotti at PSG, AC Milan have signed Catania’s Maxi Lopez and subsequently ended their interest in Carlos Tevez, while as hinted in these pages a few days ago, Man United flop Mame Biram Diouf has been picked up by German side Hannover.

The rest of the clubs have until midnight on Tuesday to clear out the deadwood or make some last gasp super-signing. In the meantime, there's plenty of time to roll out the welcome mat for the Lord around the West London direction.