Why Usain Bolt would be no good in Kilkenny and shady dealings in Mayo

In today's Hospital Pass, we examine why Usain Bolt would be no good to the Kilkenny team, while there's deception afoot in Mayo.

Unlike Usain Bolt, Kilkenny won’t be holding back

Apart from when he’s seen sporting the colours of one county or another – we’ve seen him in a Kerry, a Tipperary and even a Leitrim jersey at this stage – Usain Bolt is rarely mentioned in GAA circles.

We’re not sure what he’s like with a hurley and a sliotar in his hand, but given his size and his devastating pace – he is a little slow off the mark, mind – with a little bit of practise he’d be a welcome addition to the majority of teams playing the small ball game across the country.

Not in Kilkenny, however, not on your life. They’ve seen how Bolt eases up when he knows the race is run and they don’t like it one bit.

Responding to suggestions that the Cats leave a little in the tank when they can afford to, Kilkenny selector Martin Fogarty referenced Bolt in an attempt to highlight that, unlike the Jamaican, they can’t afford to coast over the line.

"Sometimes people pretend or think that we’re holding back, but we don’t do that,” Fogarty is quoted as saying in the Irish Examiner.

"Every other team is the same. I can assure you that every team goes out to give 100 per cent in a big match, and if they could at all, they’d have the other team blown out of the water after 10 minutes. Anyone who’d tell you different is telling a lie.

"Anyone saying ‘we’re going out to give 80% today, we’ll be holding a bit back for the next day’ is either a fool or a liar.

"You can’t do that in sport. Maybe Usain Bolt can pull up when he sees the end line, but in hurling it doesn’t work that way.”

Too right Martin, if a Kilkenny hurling man had the ability that Bolt does, we reckon they’d have broken the nine-second barrier for the 100 metres at this stage. Easy.

Shady dealings in the wesht

As a Mayo man by birth and as some of my brethren might say, by the grace of God, I know only too well the spell cast over my native county by our footballers whenever they get anywhere near Croke Park towards the final stages of the Championship.

While the current team are undoubtedly a grounded bunch, it doesn’t mean that the fans are going to remain unaffected by the hype and between now and the first weekend of September, there will be little else talked about apart from how we’re going to fare against the Dubs.

It seems, however, according to the Hogan Stand website, that some crafty and dishonest feckers have been trying to cash in on the buzz surrounding the Mayo team by staging a host of bogus fundraisers claiming to be in support of Mayo GAA, when, in fact, they have no connection with the association whatsoever.

"It has come to the attention of Coiste Chontae Mhaigheo that there are individuals and companies claiming to be involved in raising funds in support of Mayo GAA and the Mayo Team Training Fund,” read a statement released today.

"Coiste Chontae Mhaigheo has been informed that these groups are claiming that they have the approval of the County Board to raise these funds and to sell advertising in support of Mayo GAA.

"The only organisation permitted to raise funds for the support of Mayo teams is Cáirde Mhaigheo. All contributions to the Cáirde Mhaigheo Team Training Fund are used to support all of the following Mayo teams that take the field to represent our county."

Be on the lookout Mayo fans.