JOE Investigates

It’s the moment you have all been waiting for – the second part of JOE.ie’s investigation into how rip-off Ireland has penetrated the sex industry.

By Robert Carry and William Nestor

JOE.ie is dedicated to helping Irish men become as consumer-savvy as possible. In the first part of our jerk-off rip-off series we looked at how escorts, dodgy Chinese massages, strip clubs and sex hotline prices compared in Ireland, up North and in the UK. This time around we highlight the price gouging going on with condoms, strip-o-grams, sex toys and Viagra.

Strip-o-grams

There comes a time in every man’s life when he realises that he is about to be publically humiliated in front of his friends and members of the general public. Although not the 21st birthday party must-have they once were, strip-o-grams are still proving popular. Sadly, like with many other aspects of Ireland’s sex industry, the prices you’re looking at in the Republic compare poorly to those found in the North and Britain.

We hit the phones and discovered, to our alarm, that the most modestly priced, standard issue lingerie strip-o-gram we could find was €100. However, many other providers quoted considerably more. Elite Kiss-o-grams for example, quoted us €130 for a striptease.

So how does that compare with elsewhere? We contacted Northern Ireland-based coffee-n-cream, which quoted just £60 (€73) for a lingerie strip-o-gram. That stretched to £90 (€109) for a topless strip and £120 (€146) for the full monty.

Prices were similar in Britain. Hot Foxy Blonde for example, charged £80 (€97) for a lingerie strip-o-gram, with prices climbing to £90 (€109) for topless. Call it an even ton and you get a fully nude. It’s a bit of a kit-off rip-off.

RoI: €100+; Northern Ireland: £60+; England: £80+

Condoms

Okay, you may think we’re only talking small money here but it all depends on how much sex you’re having and, ultimately, how much safe sex is costing you. In Ireland we’re not getting too much of a raw deal in pharmacies for a pack of three Durex condoms which usually retails for around €3.50. That’s not bad, working out at little over a euro for each condom of good quality, but do try to avoid buying the same condoms from late night convenience stores or shops at petrol stations – they’ll cost you around €5.50. In the UK and up North you’re looking at around £2.30 for a pack of three condoms, that works out at around €2.80, and we’ve worked it out that if you have sex 100 times a year you would save a little over €23. The advice: not worth splashing out on diesel for a trip to Belfast, but if you do find yourself up there buy in bulk.

RoI: €3.50+; Northern Ireland: £2.30+; England: £2.30+

Viagra

The problem with buying Viagra is that it is a prescription drug, although, it can be illegally bought without prescription online. Here in Ireland, however, we’re getting majorly ripped off by chemists for the erectile-enhancing pills. We asked around for prices on a packet of four viagra tablets and here are the quotations we received.

In Hickeys on Grafton Street, Dublin the pills will set you back a whopping €57, while in Holywood, County Down, Burns Pharmacy charges only £30 (€36) for the same pills. Hollywood Pharmacy in, eh, Hollywood, Birmingham look for a little more - £35 (€42). In Liverpool, Davey’s Pharmacy has four Viagra pills marked up at £32 (€39).

RoI; €57+; Northern Ireland: £30+; England: £32+

Sex toys

It seems that we’re not necessarily getting ripped off when it comes to sex toys but, seriously lads, how many of us actually buy flesh lights and prostate vibrators?

Good Vibrations on Capel Street, Dublin offer a wide variety of popular sex toys including flesh lights which range from €20 up to €400, depending on what level of quality you’re after. Prostate vibrators, for those that way inclined, can be bought for anywhere between €40 and €50.

Flesh Lights - RoI: €20-€400; UK: £20+

Prostate Vibrators - RoI: €40-50; UK: £40+