Ray Foley

This week, Ray Foley launched what promises to be a glittering new TV career, as host of a gameshow where the girls seriously outnumber the boys. (That's Ray in the picture with the dark hair. No, not the one in the dress, that's Glenda Gilson.)

Finally! I can talk about this secret I’ve been bottling up for weeks!

No, I don’t have a sexually transmitted disease. And no, I’m not pregnant. No, I’m not coming out (yet) and I’m not joining a boyband. It’s much worse than that: I’m presenting a TV show.

There have been reports in a couple of papers over the past couple of weeks that I’m embarking on a TV career - and today, TV3, the station who have proposed this ludicrous notion, have announced to the world that yours truly will be the one fronting the Irish version of Take Me Out.

You probably know the show. If you don’t, your wife or girlfriend almost certainly does. It’s already a hit on UK telly presented by Peter Kay’s buddy, Paddy McGuinness. The concept is pretty straightforward: thirty single ladies stand behind thirty lights, and a single guy is presented to them. If they like the look of him, they leave their light on. If they don’t, they don’t.

By the end of the round, the guy and one girl should (if everything goes to plan) be heading out on a date - then we get them both back the next week to let us know how they got on. If you’ve seen the old version, you’ll know it’s just a bit of a laugh, with a load of pisstaking and messing with the girls - so it’s right up my street.

Dining

The TV3 Autumn launch was this morning, and aside from the announcement about my involvement, there was the unveiling of the far-more-exciting prospect of an Irish version of Come Dine With Me. Now, this is going to be great - the format here involves five random (and usually mad) people cooking dinner for each other in their respective homes. The contestants award points for food and hospitality with a cash prize winner at the end of the week.

I’m excited... and absolutely bricking it. If you listen to my radio show, you’ll know I’m the first person in the queue to slag off television presenters.

The best bit is always the sarky voiceover guy who takes the mick out of the unfortunate contestants. His name is Dave Lamb - and TV3 have revealed that he’s also signed up to do the Irish version. It’s compelling television - and with the wild card Irish contestants thrown into the culinary mix, it’s definitely all set to be series-linked on my tellybox this year.

As for my performance - well, I’m excited... and absolutely bricking it. If you listen to my radio show, you’ll know I’m the first person in the queue to slag off television presenters - and now I’m standing in the firing line and painting a bullseye on my forehead. The show’s not even started yet and and the slagging has already begun. JP has been calling me Cilla Black all day, while the rest of the lads are taking turns slagging my suit - apparently I look like I’m heading to court. Lovely. And they’re my friends.

Fancy joining in the slagging? Well, I’d love to meet you. If you’re single, up for a laugh and free for filming around the end of September, zip on over to the TV3 website now for male and female application forms. It’s on tv3.ie/takemeout