Ray Foley

When Ray Foley saw the results of JOE.ie's poll on hitting women the results immediately shocked him, then he and his team looked into the subject in more detail...

This week’s JOE.ie survey results make for some interesting reading. According to a poll of Irish men (that’s you and me, lads) on this here website, almost half of men admit that they would hit a woman. The press release landed into the inbox of my phone while the four of us from the radio show - two boys and two girls - were having our Wednesday morning meeting. Flabbergasted, I read the stats to the team.

Seven per cent of the male respondents admitted that if a woman made them angry, they’d react with physical violence. Nearly eight per cent said if a woman hit them first, they’d hit back - and 31 per cent of guys said they would hit a woman in self-defence. It’s a small comfort that a majority - 54 per cent - said they’d never hit a woman under any circumstances. The reaction in our meeting was mixed.

My immediate feeling was shock: how the hell could this be the case? I’ve been brought up to believe there’s absolutely no excuse whatsoever for hitting a woman. Since I was a kid, I remember my dad always reminding me of the golden rule: never raise your hand to a woman.

I suppose I’m pretty lucky that there’s never been a woman in my life that I’ve especially wanted to slap, so sticking to that rule hasn’t exactly been a hardship. But the lesson has been learned, and the idea of it is like a foreign language to me.

JP - who, for the record is a man - was as shocked as I was at first. But then he started putting forward hypothetical situations that would require action and reaction. Say, for instance a man was standing next to you at a bank machine, he has a knife, and as you turn from the machine, cash-in-hand, he makes a grab for the wallet. Would you push or punch him? Now, in the same circumstances, change the guy to a girl. Would you push or punch her?

Slapping

Adelle - who, we’re led to believe is a woman - told us the story of a male pal of hers who was assaulted by a woman on a night out. She was a complete stranger, pissed and he was a well-built dude. She had decided that he had taken her seat, and began slapping and thumping his face.

He called to the bouncers nearby who laughed. As she continued to wallop him, he reached for a glass of water... and emptied it on her head. Needless to say, she stopped. And the bouncers chucked him out.

The more hypothetical and genuine situations we discussed, the more apparent a loophole became to allow oneself to say that yes, we would hit a woman in certain circumstances. But why the shock? If this was a women’s website and they had conducted a similar survey, would we be bothered to read that 46 per cent of women would be prepared to hit a man?

And then why is it so acceptable to see women hitting each other? Have you noticed the way in movies, as the male hero of the flick is beating seven shades of shite out of the male villain, his love interest is invariably trouncing the living daylights out of the female villain of the piece.

It would probably make for some pretty dull action films if nobody ever hit anyone - but really that’s probably what we should aspire to.

Perhaps this is a plot safety net, so that the hero of the piece isn’t required to hit a woman. Or perhaps it’s to satisfy a curious hunger among the audience to see women hitting one-another.

It would probably make for some pretty dull action films if nobody ever hit anyone - but really that’s probably what we should aspire to.

Man hitting woman, woman hitting man: we shouldn’t need to resort to our fists or our feet to do the talking for us. Whether you’re a man or woman, it’s a stupid, cowardly way to settle any dispute, a pathetic expression of one’s inability to control their emotions and express themselves with intelligence.

One organization dealing with this issue every day is Women’s Aid. A few clicks around their website shows how startlingly busy they are: with funding and volunteer drives, awareness campaigns and appeals for appropriate legislation to protect victims of abuse - but every time a new report is published into violence toward women, the problem seems to be escalating.

Women’s Aid’s website is womensaid.ie - and like any charitable organisation in these tightened financial circumstances, they need all the help we can offer.