T'was the month before Christmas, when all through the house, not a wallet was full, because of Nicholas...
We weren't quite sure what to expect when meeting the 'Wolf of 34th Street', Nicholas St Wenceslas. After all, this is the man who prefers Scrooge's earlier work and believes festive cheer is far too cheap in our current economy.
He once charged carol singers rent for time spent on his doorstep, but he was very charming when he met us for a mid-morning chat. Take a look...
Can you tell the readers of JOE a little about yourself?
I’m Nicholas St Wenceslas. Misanthropist, Christmas Magnate and CEO of
Christmas LTD. We’re the company that makes you pay more for your Christmas while giving you less.
How is business?
It’s booming. Year on year we’ve been squeezing people to their limits, selling them high-priced low quality Christmas gifts. And year on happy new year our profits have grown fat and juicy. This is our first year in the Irish market, and we are forecasting an unmitigated success.
What inspired you to get involved in the Christmas cheer industry?
Money. Pure and simple. People lose all reason this time of year.
What exactly do you sell?
Ever wonder why you keep your Christmas presents in a stocking? That was me. Did you ever think it strange that you put a dead tree in your house and decorate it? Again that was me! Basically, if there’s a decent margin on it and it’s Christmas themed, then we probably sell it. Have a look at our latest range of exclusive gifts available on
Christmas LTD's website. But remember, browsing without buying is the same as stealing.
What is your favourite Christmas song?
There are so many to choose from. “Quiet Night”, “Oh Festive Shrub”, “Shark! The Festive Lifeguard Sings”… All on my new album “A Very Profitable Christmas” available to listen to now on
Christmas LTD's website. All your festive favourites, changed just enough so we don’t have to pay royalties…
What are you hoping to get for Christmas this year?
A bonus so big it has its own postcode. Learjets don't run on Christmas cheer you know.
What will you be getting the loved ones in your life this holiday season?
This year, once again I will spare my turkey Bernard from Christmas dinner and give him the gift of life. It’s always good to remind him what could have been. You don’t want a turkey to get too comfortable. And of course I always have a little something for my assistant, Miss Nutcracker. We exchange gifts every year at the office Christmas party.
How will you be spending your Christmas day?
Performing snow angels on a giant pile of cash. It’s becoming a tradition for me.
Is there anything else you would like to tell our readers?
Christmas comes but once a year, so let’s make it count. I want you dropping cash like your wallet is on fire… I believe in you. Don’t let me down.
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