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Video: The terrible trailer for Avalanche Sharks is here – the snow will run red with blood

by @dohertyeoghan
Email author
avalanche2

All bets are off for Oscar season folks, we’ve got a new wildcard in town.

For those of you suffering withdrawal symptoms from a severe lack of ridiculous shark-related films, fear not, Avalanche Sharks is coming to a TV screen near you – we’re not even taking the piste.

Following on from the absolutely barmy fan reaction to Sharknado the world over, some crazy people/geniuses/shark-obsessed film geeks have come to the conclusion that the next logical step in celluloid shark scares is obviously sharks swimming in snow.

“They swim through the snow like other sharks move through water – snow sharks.” True story.

According to Fangoria, there is a little bit confusion surrounding the background to the new film, with some reports claiming that Avalanche Sharks was supposed to be released back in June as a sequel to the equally brilliantly named Sand Sharks, while other sources reported that it was originally supposed to be called Sharkalanche.

What there definitely isn’t any confusion about though, is that the sharks clearly, JUST. DON’T. CARE. ANYMORE.

Snow, sand, when you’re visiting your Granny, putting the Green bin out – it doesn’t matter. The sharks are coming to get you.

avalanche

Check out the official synopsis for the film:

‘Spring break in the mountains: snowboarding, beer, drunken co-eds in bikinis. As the yearly Bikini Ski Day party descends on a small mountain town, something lurks beneath the snow. When an unwitting rider causes an avalanche, it awakens a huge, menacing, prehistoric Snow Shark! With a newfound taste for human flesh, the Snow Shark picks off the snow bunnies mercilessly. Cut off from help by mountainous terrain and blinding snow, the local sheriff must make an unlikely alliance with a motley crew of snowboarders to take down the Snow Shark before the white hills run red with blood!’

Forget the local sheriff and his band of boarding bros, where the heck is Police Chief Brody when you need him!?

brody

And here is the woefully bad trailer itself, complete with bikini-clad babes, poorly-delivered dialogue and, of course, the terrible-looking titular Avalanche Sharks themselves.

We cannot wait:

No official release date for Avalanche Sharks has been released so just be careful. They could come for you… at any time…

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