Navigation menu button

Video: The terrible trailer for Avalanche Sharks is here – the snow will run red with blood

by @dohertyeoghan
Email author
avalanche2

All bets are off for Oscar season folks, we’ve got a new wildcard in town.

For those of you suffering withdrawal symptoms from a severe lack of ridiculous shark-related films, fear not, Avalanche Sharks is coming to a TV screen near you – we’re not even taking the piste.

Following on from the absolutely barmy fan reaction to Sharknado the world over, some crazy people/geniuses/shark-obsessed film geeks have come to the conclusion that the next logical step in celluloid shark scares is obviously sharks swimming in snow.

“They swim through the snow like other sharks move through water – snow sharks.” True story.

According to Fangoria, there is a little bit confusion surrounding the background to the new film, with some reports claiming that Avalanche Sharks was supposed to be released back in June as a sequel to the equally brilliantly named Sand Sharks, while other sources reported that it was originally supposed to be called Sharkalanche.

What there definitely isn’t any confusion about though, is that the sharks clearly, JUST. DON’T. CARE. ANYMORE.

Snow, sand, when you’re visiting your Granny, putting the Green bin out – it doesn’t matter. The sharks are coming to get you.

avalanche

Check out the official synopsis for the film:

‘Spring break in the mountains: snowboarding, beer, drunken co-eds in bikinis. As the yearly Bikini Ski Day party descends on a small mountain town, something lurks beneath the snow. When an unwitting rider causes an avalanche, it awakens a huge, menacing, prehistoric Snow Shark! With a newfound taste for human flesh, the Snow Shark picks off the snow bunnies mercilessly. Cut off from help by mountainous terrain and blinding snow, the local sheriff must make an unlikely alliance with a motley crew of snowboarders to take down the Snow Shark before the white hills run red with blood!’

Forget the local sheriff and his band of boarding bros, where the heck is Police Chief Brody when you need him!?

brody

And here is the woefully bad trailer itself, complete with bikini-clad babes, poorly-delivered dialogue and, of course, the terrible-looking titular Avalanche Sharks themselves.

We cannot wait:

No official release date for Avalanche Sharks has been released so just be careful. They could come for you… at any time…

Comments:

Competition

WIN a brand new HTC One M8 Steel Blue smartphone Find out more

Homer d'oh

Food & Drink

Pic: This Domino’s Twitter conversation is the funniest thing you’ll read today
baggiomaradona

News

Video: Diego Maradona and Roberto Baggio combine for outrageous goal at Match for Peace
Screen Shot 2014-09-01 at 14.35.49

Music

Video: “I’m So Ginger” is a tribute to redheads everywhere…
36213-xlarge

News

Very, very NSFW: The topless Michelle Keegan bath picture causing a stir this morning
Screen Shot 2014-09-01 at 13.03.50

Features

Video: 20-year-old dislocates jaw after screaming too hard during Ice Bucket Challenge
dodicebucket

News

Video: Domhnall O’Donovan’s ice bucket challenge with a hurling twist is well worth a look
"Charles James: Beyond Fashion" Costume Institute Gala -  Outside Arrivals

Tweet of the day

Anna Kendrick had the best response to the massive celebrity nude pictures hack
deadlinedaydildo

News

Vine: Nothing to see here, just an Everton fan waving a dildo on Sky Sports News on Deadline Day
Tottenham Hotspur v Liverpool - Premier League

Features

Get your Mooju back: Mario Balotelli
Harlequins v Racing Metro 92 - Heineken Cup

News

Report: Johnny Sexton out for two months with broken jaw (now with video)
spiderr

Features

Video: Your WTF footage of the day includes a girl hiding a spider in a very peculiar orifice
"X-Men: Days Of Future Past" World Premiere

World Affairs

4chan leaker speaks out about THOSE celebrity photos
keaneRobbie Galaxy 2014

News

Video: Robbie Keane nutmegged a defender before chipping the keeper from 20 yards last night
Screen Shot 2014-09-02 at 07.33.08

News

Video: Watch as Cristiano Ronaldo kicks footballs at Jenson Button
predatormania

News

Video: Just in case you missed it folks, the Adidas Predator Manias are back
Leeds United v Middlesbrough - Sky Bet Championship

Football

Leeds United troll their own fans on Twitter
Charles Dance Tywin Lannister

Rugby

Video: Game Of Thrones’ Tywin Lannister gives the mother of all team talks in inspiring new Rugby World Cup ad
gameoft

Home News

Pic: Seriously impressive number of Game of Thrones references in this ad for a room in Galway on DAFT
John Oliver Comments

TV & Radio

Video: John Oliver hilariously reads out the nastiest fan mail and YouTube comments about his show
Fonzy

Features

Pic: Is this the best ultrasound photo ever? Baby poses in the best possible way…
Radamel Falcao Signs For Manchester United On Loan From Monaco

Features

Pic: JOE’s Premier League transfer window XI would take some beating
Steven Kinsella 4/3/2014

News

Video: Irish youngster Steven Kinsella scores brilliant goal for Everton under-16s against Manchester City
battfieldhardline

Video Games

Video: Check out the latest teaser trailer for Battlefield Hardline
The Wire

TV & Radio

Shiiiiiiiiit! It looks like TV viewers may be getting a re-up on a remastered version of The Wire
Liberia Battles Spreading Ebola Epidemic

World Affairs

Video: Frightening moment caught on camera as Ebola patient escapes medical centre in Liberia
tricolour

Home News

Once-off ‘Republic Day’ mooted for Easter Rising centenary commemoration in 2016
capture-20140902-123319

World Affairs

Video: Woman impales herself in the bum while texting and driving
leinster top2

Features

JOE’s Guinness PRO12 Preview: Leinster
Europe Ryder Cup Press Conference

Golf

McGinley hands European Ryder Cup wildcards to Ian Poulter, Lee Westwood and Stephen Gallacher
Tottenham Hotspur v Liverpool - Premier League

Features

Get your Mooju back: Mario Balotelli
Radiohead Perfom At Victoria Park In London

Music

Listen: Radiohead gets fans very excited with brand new PolyFauna app update
Fonzy

Features

Pic: Is this the best ultrasound photo ever? Baby poses in the best possible way…
galwaymetal

Music

Irish metal singer scares the sh*t out of Galway people in new music video
predatormania

News

Video: Just in case you missed it folks, the Adidas Predator Manias are back
John Oliver Comments

TV & Radio

Video: John Oliver hilariously reads out the nastiest fan mail and YouTube comments about his show
Hodor

TV & Radio

Hodor! Game Of Thrones fans are going to absolutely love this brand new Internet app
spiderr

Features

Video: Your WTF footage of the day includes a girl hiding a spider in a very peculiar orifice
dodicebucket

News

Video: Domhnall O’Donovan’s ice bucket challenge with a hurling twist is well worth a look
Blade Snap

Movies

Vampires Beware: Wesley Snipes could be set for a return to the Blade films
story_15691_15691-xlarge

Competitions

Competition: Fancy winning the ride of a lifetime in a high-powered supercar with thanks to Carzone.ie & Cannonball Ireland? Read on…
Send in a story and earn some cash