World affairs

German catfish are causing a headache for fisherman, after they turned cannibal and started eating possible catches and pretty much everything else.

The fish, who have no natural predators, have even begun eating ducks and swans causing a massive headache for locals. Die Welt newspaper quotes a the head of the local fisherman as saying, "The fish are not actually known to eat members of their own species, but by now they are also doing this." So the hungry little sh*tes have begun chowing down on their own species, making us wonder if Jaws should be worried; even he didn't eat his own.

This isn’t the first time the whiskered creatures have caused havoc; just a few weeks ago a Chinese couple reportedly came home to discover that their house had been wrecked by one of them - they don't even live near a lake or river. The husband and wife returned home and there one was, chillin’ next to an overturned table. They thought they'd been robbed until they spotted it.

The most terrifying thing? An expert confirms that they can indeed survive for long periods of time without water. What the actual f**k? Everyone start implementing castfish in your diet to show them who’s boss before they get even cockier and start sprouting legs and whatnot.