Phil Mitchell is coming to Offaly… control yourselves girls

Why would you go to Offaly?

1. It's home to the 30th Largest town in Ireland.
2. They have a castle.
3. They used to have a big telescope.
4. Mundy, Neil Delamere, Shane Lowry and Brian Cowan all kick it in the Wolftrap.
5. Midlands 103 does the best death notices in the country.
6. 21% of it is Turf. Fact.
7. And there's 76,687 people there - some of them MUST be women.

But forget all that noise... If you only go to Offaly once in your short and precious lifetime, make it the 21st September...

On that fateful night, The Palace nightclub welcomes the one and only Phil Mitchell (a.k.a. Steve McFadden, a.k.a. NOT the one who's on gangs on the telly, the other one) for a DJ set, PLUS - contain your excitement - you can even meet and/or greet the man.

Who knew, when he wasn't riding his brother's wife, feuding with Dirty Den, and getting shot by Lisa, Phil was out in Peggy's garage, learning how to beat mix Kajagoogoo records.

See you in the queue... I hope he calls me a slag.