Five fashion faux pas
Most of us take a sneaky glance in the office mirror to make sure everything is still in check. Sadly for some blokes, the mirror is a window and they just stare into the abyss, naïve to the fact their hair looks crap and their tie is a mess. Here are five fashion faux pas to be avoided by the everyday man.
By Oisin Collins
Mull over the mullet
They may have been the dogs rock-sack back in the day but anyone sporting this 80’s do is just asking for the Chuck Norris jokes. Or if you’re of a portly nature, the Peter Stringfellow jokes.
The Mullet was first notably sported by Tom Jones back in the 1690’s, or was that the 1960’s. Either way the style is old as shit and the West needs to hop on the Islamic bandwagon and publically ban the mullet. Yes they actually banned a hair doo from a religion.
We can forgive the ice hockey players of the 80’s and 90’s for supporting the mullet or hockey hair as it’s also known but as for the rest of you men, shame. (The hockey players could probably beat us up. Probably.)
Once the must have item for any fashion conscious male. But like the mullet, the Hawaiian shirt has danced it’s final dance and the encore is long over. If your wardrobe is full of the colourful shirts then don’t worry. You can always make a set of lovely car cleaning rags out of them.
Often worn as formal wear in the Hawaiian Islands, Aloha shirts (as they’re known to the locals) are an export that should, well, have never left port. Certainly not acceptable as formal wear over here and honestly, they’re not acceptable full stop.
The recurring trend in our fashion faux pas list seems to be styles that ‘once were’. This is a bit of a debateable matter, but men, please sort out those unibrows. Gone are the days when the ultimate man had more hair than the Jedwards put together. But society has gone the way of the dolphin and traded the lavish rug of hair for the waxed, streamlined, baby skinned person. Dont believe us? Just check out some porn fromt he 70′s and all will be clear.
So why fight a changing tide? Just buy a set of tweezers from the chemists and get plucking at those pesky midway bastards that can’t make their mind up if they want to be on the left or the right. Alternatively you could just leave the unibrow, but then you risk looking like Bigfoots hairier cousin, Youfoot.
Socks and Sandals
Now, you might think you’ve heard this one before. And you probably have. No, you definately have, yet the amount of men still donning the sandal-sock-combo is alarming. Some have lobbied for international campaigns against the fashion disaster while others just have a little sly giggle at the perpetrators.
If you are guilty of this faux pas then take this down. Firstly, you don’t look stylish and secondly if your sandals are cutting into your feet (hence the socks) then get rid of your crappy sandals. Thankfully this one is kept from our rainy shores mainly thanks to… our rainy shores.
Trousers tucked into socks
Does anyone know how this actually started? Was someone in Ballymun cycling their bike and simply forgot to unravel their trousers? “Well I do say Anto, your pants look spiffy whilst tucked into your socks,” is how we imagine it went. In all seriousness, this ‘style’ does more harm than you could even fathom.
Firstly the raised pants shows off your old ass shoes that haven’t been clean since a child in Asia made them. Secondly you look as if your mother dressed you and she’s worried you’ll get the bottom of your pants dirty. The increasing popularity of this trend is something to be reckoned with. This is the ultimate faux pa.