The Death of the Moustache

By Emmet Purcell

Burt Reynolds, Tom Selleck, Ned Flanders, even Mark Lawrenson – it has always been said every great man has worn a moustache, at one stage or another.

While most fashion experts would attest that many trends, no matter how ludicrous, are cyclical, we’ve seen a steep decline in the mainstream acceptance of moustaches since the mid-80s.

Has upper-lip fuzz gone the way of codpieces and bellbottoms, eternally resigned to the fashion scrapheap forever? Or surely if moustaches can even survive a PR disaster like Hitler, they can’t ever be gone for good?

With full and trimmed beards firmly back on the male fashion agenda, and famous male models such as Patrick Petitjean sporting full, bear-like chin-warmers, it appears as though untamed facial hair is becoming an increasingly socially acceptable norm. Yet despite such emerging trends, the full-on moustache is largely believed to have petered out at the exact moment the suitably hirsute 80s Liverpool teams stopped winning league titles.

'Taches = Trophies

Nowadays, 'taches are largely consigned to famous actors playing period roles (Daniel Day Lewis – There Will Be Blood, Jude Law – Sherlock Holmes) or “wacky” ball-cancer charity events such as Movember. However, it is important to remember that even though an event such as Movember is a great cause, the growing of moustaches is almost always an ironic practice, with the newly-grown creations cut down in their prime, rarely lasting longer than the required thirty days.

To chart the decline of the moustache, it’s illogical to focus too far back – if history has taught us anything it’s that all historic generals and kings were required to wear tights and/or silly soup-strainers. For much of the 20^th century though, the moustache was a serious, stylish option of self-expression, an emblem of masculinity, and admired by the opposite sex.

From the 60s to 80s, moustachioed stars such as Robert Redford, Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds were known as rugged, virile studs, desired by women the world over. Flash-forward a couple of decades and the moustache is just a cheap gag for comedies such as Borat or Anchorman.

In the moustache’s absence, all manner of facial styles have sprung up, from “designer stubble”, goatees, to "soul patches" and Craig David-style, immaculately-shaven chin mazes. Neither option has survived any period of time as the de-facto facial hair choice, making the universal rejection of moustaches are the more puzzling. Is this really preferential to this?

Great moustaches in history - Led Zep's John Bonham

Despite falling so far down the pecking order of facial hair preferences, from its Robert Redford heyday to today’s upper lip of Willie O’Dea, there are those that have sought to bring back the tache. Killers front man Brandon Flowers tried his darndest, as did We Are Scientists’ Chris Cain, though both attempts were largely tame, ironic versions – aspiring to the lauded hipster nirvana of being “looking so uncool you become cool."

One of the principal reasons posited behind the moustache decline was the “coming out” of the homosexual community in the early 80s, with homosexual males (most famously Queen’s Freddie Mercury) embracing the style as an iconic symbol of identity. Thus, it could be said that heterosexual males felt their masculinity, previously encapsulated in their upper-lip fuzz, was under threat, or feared having their sexuality questioned - forsaking the tache forever and plumping for much more heretosexual trends in the early 90s.

In today’s world of men’s fake tan, back-sack-and-crack waxes, and Cristiano Ronaldo, many have welcomed the recent resurgence in largely untamed, self-expressive facial hair – a world away from the meterosexual, preening styles of the 00s.

If untamed facial hear embodies masculinity, and an attractive sense of individuality, it’s odd to think the moustache, another style which incorporates the same benefits, is nowhere to be seen – even though twenty years previously it was popular for possibly even a millennium.

To all men sporting a beard or increased stubble these days, JOE's recommendation for you tonight is to splash on the shaving cream, take out the razor, and shave each area of the night tonight bar one – you might like what you see. And if not, well then - keep shaving.