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25th Jun 2010

Brazil 0-0 Portugal as it happened

Brazil took on Portugal in the final match of group G to decide who would top it. Find out if it was exciting as we had all hoped.  

JOE

Brazil took on Portugal in the final match of Group G, to decide who would top the group. It was a match that all of us at JOE were really excited by. Then it kicked off.

With Conor Hogan

Brazil 0-0 Portugal

Ivory Coast 3-0 North Korea

Wrap up:

Today we witnessed a shamefully bad match. Crossing was dreadful, shooting was dreadful. The first half was nasty. The second was just about the most boring thing you could imagine. Both teams, as I predicted, settled for a draw. People were excited, before the match began, by the prospect of Brazil taking on Cristiano Ronaldo and Portugal. In the end, it was manure. Let us speak no more of the game. The World Cup can only get better after this.

Thanks very much for joining us, and for your comments.

Good luck and goodbye.

1702:

The first time in 32 years that Brazil have failed to score in group match.

1701:

“If Spain don’t get through tonight, it’s Argentina’s to lose,” writes Brian from Carlow. I agree 100%. I tipped Argentina at the start, and this has confirmed for me that they’ll be the eventual champions. Brazil can win it, but I hope they don’t.

1658:

“It was awful,” said John Giles, “the only thing I can say in Brazil’s defence, is that Kaka, Elano, and Robinho were missing. The replacements were awful. If they get any injuries, they won’t do anything in this tournament.” “What does Gilberto Silva actually do?” says Ronnie Whelan.

1654:

After five and a half minutes of injury-time, this disgusting, pathetic match ends to a chorus of boos. Will I ever get those two hours of my life back?

95′

Full time

94′

Bad defending by Juan results in Julio Cesar having to put the ball out for a corner. Final score in the other match. Ivory Coast won 3-0. Both these teams are through.

91′

Ramires has a shot from outside the box that was going miles wide. It took a massive deflection, and Eduardo had to make an excellent save. Finally a bit of excitement.

90′

The ref gives five minutes of extra-time. What a sadist!!

89′

What is everybody’s favourite Hitchcock movie? For me. it would be Vertigo or Strangers on a Train.

88′

“So Milltown is where Derek Davis is hiding these days. I haven’t seen sight nor light of him since the heady days of Live at Three. He’s right though, this game is terrible,” says Jimmy from Westmeath. Yes it’s the worst game of the World Cup so far by a million miles. It’s worse than Ukraine v Switzerland in ’06, and Ireland v Norway in ’94. Comparing it to Germany v Austria in ’82 would be apt. Lucio heads straight at Eduardo.

85′

Three substitutions to tell you about. Grafite came on for Fabiano. Veloso came on for Meireles. Ramires came on for ‘The Beast’ Julio Baptista.

83′

Kalou came on as a substitue, and scored from close range. For all the good it’ll do them.

82′

Goal Ivory Coast

82′

Free-kick to Portugal. It’s cleared. I might as well tell you the statistics so far. There have been five shots on target in this match, 24 fouls, and eight corners.

78′

Dunga is jumping up like a crazy person at the moment. The Brazil and Portugal players seem to have settled for a draw. Dunga must be the only person who hasn’t.

76′

“Dunga by name, dunga by nature – this “Brazil” side puts me to sleep. Wake me up if Ivory Coast manage to get the 17 or so goals they need to get through” writes Derek Davis from Milltown. Is that ‘The Derek Davis’? You were my favourite host of The Rose of Tralee.

74′

Mexican wave. Tells you everything you need to know about the standard of play at the moment.

73′

Alves shoots from about 40 yards. It goes about 50 yards wide. This match is what I’d imagine a Samuel Beckett play to be like. Although, Beckett’s plays probably have more goals in them. Goal kick to Portugal.

70′

Not a lot is happening now. Hence, my redundant comment.

68′

The other match is still 2-0 to the Ivory Coast. Sven’s men appear to have abandoned all hope now. Another dreadful shot from a free-kick by Ronaldo. It was so bad he pretended it was a cross, and gave out to Danny for not getting his head on it.

66′

Portugal have been much the better team in this second half. Brazil need to wake up. Lyon’s Michel Bastos blasts a cross into row Z yet again.

63′

Corner by Simao is harmlessly headed away again. A shocking amout of bad corners in this match so far. Ex-Spurs and Rangers player Pedro Mendes comes on for Pepe.

62′

Great run by Ronaldo, whose terrific pass across the box goes to Raul Meireles. He has a shot from about three yards out, which Julio Cesar does excellently to deflect out for a corner. Meireles falls on him, and Julio Ceasar gets injured. He stays on but has to change his ripped shirt.

57′

Dani Alves’ cross goes to Fabiano, who heads straight at Portugal’s keeper Eduardo. Where is ‘The Beast’ today? He hasn’t done a lot.

55′
(To the tune of Camptown races)

Simao comes on from the bench

For Duda, Duda

This will surely help the team

It’s not been Duda’s day

54′

For trivia lovers; Portugal’s 7-0 win over North Korea was the 4th biggest win in their history. They had previously beaten Liectenstein, Kuwait, and Costa Rica 8-0.

51′

Ronaldo has a free-kick from about 40 yards. It deflects off Pepe and goes harmlessly over the bar for a goal kick.

48′

An over the top ball from the Portugal box, beats the off-side trap, and goes to Ronaldo only 5 yards from goal. A terrific tackle from Lucio puts the ball out for Portugal’s first corner. They do nothing with it.

46′

Second half kicks off. Brazil keep the ball. Gilberto Silva has an early nudge on Zenith St. Petersberg’s Danny.

1603:

“In eleven World Cup’s since 1966, Brazil have only lost one group match,” says George Hamilton. The only one they lost was against Norway in 1998.

1600:

Oh no. It’s that awful George Hook ad for Sky Plus. “Sky care, and it might not necessarily cost you more.”

1553:

A rather nasty match so far, a lot of niggly tackles. Brazil have had a few chances, but all in all it’s been surprisingly poor. The Ivory Coast have had 14 shots, hit the post twice, and had a goal ruled out for offside. “I think we are watching the wrong game,” says RTE’s John Giles.

Half time

46′

Brazil’s fifth corner of the half is cleared and Portugal set off on a promising counter-attack. Ronaldo then selflishly blasts the ball over from about 60 yards.

44′

Melo gets booked for persistent fouling. Melo gets substituted for Josue, who plays for Steve McLaren’s Wolfsburg. It looks like a tactical decision.

41′

Does anyone else think Carlos Queiroz looks like an ageing 70s porn star on the sidelines? Just me then?

39′

Another great ball by Maicon, and Fabiano heads the ball into the ground and inches wide. Great chance.

37′

Nilmar blasts the ball over the bar. The current score is Brazil 0-5 0-2 Portugal.

34′

“Love your GAA cliché Conor,” writes Denis from Leitrim. “One of my mates took it a bit too literally when we were younger. Our under 12 manager had told us to take our points and the goals will come before the game, so my mate rounded the keeper and blasted the ball over the bar even though there was an empty net. True story! We’ve never let him live it down since.” That sounds worse than Eto’o’s miss the other night.

32′

Nilmar had a great chance from about four yards, but Eduardo pulled off a wondersave to tap it onto the bar. Portugal counter-attacked, and had an appeal for a penalty. Tiago was booked for diving, however. Excellent decision by the ref.

30′

You wonder if Ivory Coast get a few more goals against North Korea will Portugal and Brazil play out a mutually beneficial result, like Germany v Austria in 1982. Dani Alves has hit the first man from a corner three times.

28′

Looking at the replay, Juan was fortunate not to get a red. If he didn’t handball, Ronaldo was free. Duda is still an asshole though.

25′

Juan handballs like a big idiot, and gets booked. Juan was the last man and Portugal’s Duda appealed for a red. Duda got booked for being an asshole. Ronaldo then blasted the ball over from the 40 yard free-kick. Take your points, the goals will come.

22′

That isn’t a missprint. Two goals from Ivory Coast. Yaya Toure with the first and Romaric with the second. Romric’s goal came off the crossbar and went in. Is the impossible on?

20′

Goal Ivory Coast

20′

Goal Ivory Coast

18′

“I don’t actually like football, I just watch it to check out what sort of design the groundsmen has done on the pitch. Today we’re looking at a simple four-up four-down striped system. The groundsman didn’t try to be too clever – doing rings around the centre circle or any of that fancy stuff – just stuck to the basics and did them well. That’s often enough in the grounds-keeping game.” says Fred form Loughrea. Thanks for that Fred. Tiago blazes over the bar for Portugal.

14′

A dazzling cross is put into the box by breakout star Fabio Coentrao, which Julio Cesar just about flaps away.

13′

Obligatory Vuvuzela review. The sound a little bit more subdued than usual. You can hear the crowd cheering and making other football-fanesque noises.

10′

Portugal have a far more respectable 40% of the ball. I told you not to read anything into it. But did you listen to me? Maicon had another cross into the box, that the Portuguese defenders comfortably deal with.

07′

Dani  Alves has a strike from distance. It looked great live, but the replay showed that it was a couple of yards wide. It’s still 0-0 in the Ivory Coast game. Remember that Ivory Coast need a ten goal swing to have any chance.

05′

Brazil have had 88% of the ball so far, but it’s extremely early so we shouldn’t make a lot out of it.

03′

Brazil won two corners in the first two minutes. Both were hamlessly headed away. Very bad deliveries by Dani Alves.

01′

The game kicks off. A cross in from Maicon is headed out for a corner by Costa.

1500:

Brazil, of course, used to be a colony of Portugal between 1534 and 1822. You won’t find a lot of bad feeling between the two countries, as Portugal treated them rather well, and used it mostly for trading colony. A different story than the Spanish. Portugal have always exploited their colonial past to improve their football team. Eusebio, for instance, was from Mozambique.

1451:

‘The Beast’ Julio Baptista replaces the ridiculously suspended Kaka. I wonder will we see the Arsenal Baptista or the AC Milan Baptista today.

1448:

Two Brazilians in the starting line-up for Portugal, Pepe and Bruno Alves. Liedson and Deco are also on the bench.

1443:

If you must know the teams in the other match, see below.

Teams:

North Korea Ri Myong-guk; Cha Jong-hyok, Pak Chol-jin, Ri Jun-il, Ji Yun-nam, Ri Kwang-chon; Hong Yong-jo, Mun In-guk, An Yong-hak, Pak Nam-chol; Jong Tae-se.

Ivory Coast Boubacar Barry; Emmanuel Eboue, Kolo Toure, Didier Zokora, Arthur Boka; Ndri Romaric, Yaya Toure, Cheik Tiote; Gervinho, Didier Drogba, Abdelkader Keita.

Referee Alberto Undiano (Spain)

1434:

Teams:

Portugal: Eduardo; Bruno Alves, Ricardo Carvalho, Pepe, Fabio Coentrao, Ricardo Costa, Raul Meireles, Tiago, Cristiano Ronaldo, Duda, Danny.

Brazil: Julio Cesar; Maicon, Lucio, Juan, Michel Bastos, Felipe Melo, Gilberto Silva, Dani Alves, Nilmar, Julio Baptista, Luis Fabiano.

Referee: Benito Archundia (Mexico)

1434:

We will also be following the pretty pointless game between the Ivory Coast and North Korea. Ivory Coast will need to hammer the North Koreans and hope Brazil hammer Portugal to have any chance.

1426:

If you want to read our World Cup profiles of Brazil and Portugal (to see how right we were), just click the hyperlinks.

You wonder if Portugal will want to win today’s match. Their goal difference pretty much guarantees that they’ll go through to the next round. Whoever tops the group will face the second place team in Group H, and there is a chance that might be Spain. Lets hope we don’t have a cagey match.

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