Getting blown in public 40ft over Dublin – JOE versus the wind tunnel

Ahead of The Adventure Weekend at the RDS, Nick Bradshaw gets his adrenaline fix by becoming the first in Ireland to simulate a skydive over a giant hairdryer.

According to the website for this weekend’s Adventure Weekend at the RDS, the vertical wind tunnel that’s situated outside the front of this weekend’s interactive activity event offers the chance to float on a jet of air, arms and legs outstretched like a skydiver – 40ft in the air.

I’ve got no problem being 40ft in the air, or 2,000ft for that matter. I have no fear of heights; it’s drops I’m not partial to. And the eternal pessimist in me knows that if something can go wrong, it will go wrong to me. I’ve been convinced for a while, for instance, that I’ll be the first person using the Dublin Bike scheme to come to grief in a very public and embarrassing way.

But here at JOE.ie we never shirk away from the chance to do stuff that takes us out of our comfort zone. Previously for this website I’ve visited an STI clinic and had things inserted where God definitely didn’t intend and I’ve roamed the Clare countryside killing stuff and subsequently eating it.

So am I going to turn down the chance to do something that might scare the bejeezus out of me? Of course I’m not. An invite has been extended to be one of the first to simulate a sky dive over a vertical wind tunnel in Ireland, and it would be rude not to accept.

Swarming

When I arrive at the RDS, the place is swarming with thousands of onlookers and well wishers. OK, so they’re all Portuguese and have been corralled into the RDS ‘Fan Zone’ (a kind of internment camp with big-screen TVs and coffee stalls) ahead of the Europa Cup Final being played at the Aviva Stadium, but I’ll take all the support I can get – even if it’s not technically mine.

When I get closer to what looks like a giant hairdryer on the back of a lorry, there’s a lot of French chatter going on. It turns out that the contraption is based in France and the crew who’ve brought it over are only just after finishing their safety checks and that I won’t be ONE of the first to give it a go, I’ll be THE first.

Cool.

One of the French guys did a quick test that the air jet was doing what it meant to then pointed to me.

I stick my arms and legs out like a skydiving pro in an attempt to make my first time being blown in public a dignified occasion.

Once in a harness and attached by two ropes to stop me from ending up being carried by the wind into the car park and I’ve been put into a shell-suit thing with flaps at the side (making me look a bit like one of those flying squirrels), my new French pal points at the air jet and gets me to kneel before it then lean over it.

I’ll put it down to his lack of English, but he decides to give no indication of the actual moment he’s going to send me airbourne. When it happens, it happens with no fanfare and a second later my head is a few feet from the vent, my arse is in the air and I stick my arms and legs out like a skydiving pro in an attempt to make my first time being blown in public a dignified occasion.

It’s a pretty feeble attempt at first, but before too long I’m flying. So what if my occasional moments of graceful levitation are punctuated by me being blown off course and so what if at one point I perform a particularly undignified gambol that ends with me coming close to landing in the assembled crowd.

Who cares if it's not perfect: I, my friends, am flying.

From time to time the guys below give me the thumbs-up and each time I politely reciprocate... until I realise that every time I do so they turn the power on the machine up. After what seems like a lot longer than it probably was, the jet is turned down and I float (like a lumpy human stone) back to the ground, although not before they fire it up again just as I think it’s all over. Funny.

Having tested the vertical wind tunnel and not ended up in the grounds of the nearby Four Seasons Hotel, I can recommend having a go. You’ll have a blast(!), and there's no extra charge if you’ve already a ticket to The Adventure Weekend event.

If floating in mid-air doesn’t float your boat, then there’s plenty more on offer at the event, which is effectively a showcase for the best Ireland has to offer in outdoor adventure activities and where stuff you can take part in ranges from zip lining to extreme trampolining.

There is one small post script to this story...  I survived the vertical air tunnel unscathed and elated, but having done so I managed to slip down the last three steps leading down from the lorry and twisted my ankle. It wasn’t slippy, it was just me. Fortunately nobody noticed me tripping or hobbling off – it’s one thing making a prat of yourself over an air jet, but demonstrating an inability to walk down a flight of stairs is never good.

The Adventure Weekend takes place at the RDS, Dublin on 20/21/22 May. More details at www.theadventureweekend.ie