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Ireland's porn wannabes
JOE.ie delves into Ireland's shady porn industry - and discovers a raft of Irish would-be porn starlets.

An estimated 4.2 million porn sites are currently servicing the needs of some 72 million monthly worldwide visitors and around a quarter of all search engine requests are for pornographic material.

By Robert Carry

The US is the hub of the industry, producing up to 11,000 films a year and earning an estimated $13 billion in gross revenues annually. So how big a slice of the sexy pie has Ireland managed to cleave off for itself? Well, JOE.ie did a bit of digging and from what we can gather there has been fewer than a dozen Irish porn films.

The industry appeared to have kicked off when UK firm Rude Britannia popped over to our Fair Isle and produced Fucked in Ireland in 2004. It featured a mostly English cast with the addition of a couple of moderately attractive Dublin girls ("Ohh Jaysus!").

The company appeared to have filmed three DVDs worth of footage during the trip and Fucked in Ireland II and III promptly followed the first.

There are rumours that a girl from Waterford found her way into the industry stateside and it has been suggested that a mysterious movie entitled Kelly's First Time featured an Irish lass, but beyond that the following six years were quiet.

The notorious Tanya Tate's Sex Tour of Ireland, however, put our practically non-existent porn industry back on the map thanks largely to the appearance of Wexford hurler Greg Jacob in the film.

EU Development Fund

It is, however, a poor haul. Like an EU Development Fund, we're doing plenty of consuming with precious little by way of contributing.

But could the recession change that? Are there Irish people out there itching to get into the industry? JOE.ie decided to investigate.

We placed an ad seeking 'Adult Models for Film' who were interested in shooting 'bedroom scenes' on an unnamed classifieds website. We pointed out that no experience was necessary and assured top rates of pay. Whatever that might be.

Next, we set up an email account and it wasn't long before the responses started to roll in. 30 responses, in fact.

"I'm 22 and from Belfast and I'm not shy on camera," promised one.

"I've no modeling experience but I would love to give this a try," said another.

And it wasn't just the youngsters showing an interest: "I'm 43, blonde, and very attractive," read one rather speculative effort.

We were careful to point out that we were looking for 'attractive' models but judging by a few pictures we were sent, some chose to ignore this particular stipulation. Either that or they were not quite up-to-speed on exactly where they came on the scale of 1 to 10.

There was also an international contingent ready and willing to jump the bones of whoever on camera in exchange for a few quid. We had two Eastern Europeans, a girl from the Caribbean and even a slightly scary looking Welsh chick.

Bare arse

Some respondents proved particularly determined and opted to respond with a photo. While some were headshots of smiling girl-next-door types, others were far more interesting. One girl sent us a photo of her bare arse. You couldn't see what the rest of her looked like and there were no other images, so an arse was all we had to go on.

Another slightly alarming pattern started to emerge - it wasn't just girls who responded.

"May I just ask whether it is ONLY female models that you are seeking?" read one from a hopeful Irish bloke.

He wouldn't be the last. Eight Irish blokes contacted us with the hope that they could get paid for hammering one of our imaginary girls on screen.

Sadly, the life of our ad came to an early end when the website's owners objected to its content and the fact that it was clearly fake because it had no accompanying landline number.

Our ad may have been short-lived, but it was live long enough to demonstrate that although the Irish porn industry may be at a low ebb, there is plenty of potential. Potential in the form of shameless horny folk with little by way of qualms about getting busy in full view of the watching world.

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