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15th Dec 2015

The 9 worst Christmas cracker jokes of 2015 are here


Joe Harrington

We love this kind of humour.

Christmas cracker jokes are a mix between being the best and the worst because usually the jokes are so bad that they’re actually kind of good.

We always end up shaking our heads with disgust before having a sneaky little chuckle when the person turns away.


The TV channel UK Gold asked its viewers to send in short jokes that could be used in Christmas crackers in 2015, here are the best/worst ones they were sent.

1. I told my Granddad to go to Amazon for his Christmas shopping… He phoned me two days later from Brazil.

2. Why were Jeremy Clarkson’s colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they’d been floored by his punch.

3. How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? On the dark side.

Sensible Chuckle

4. Why did Santa pour Lemsip into the chimney? He was coming down with the flue.

5. Why don’t Volkswagen hold Christmas Services? They get the readings wrong.

6. Why is there no Champagne at the Chelsea Christmas party? Because Mourinho got rid of the Fizzy-o.


7. Why was the turkey at the Talk Talk Christmas party such a mess? It was hacked.

8. Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh.

9. What do Wikileaks staff have with their Christmas turkey? An anonymous sauce.

Enjoy crackering up your family at Christmas.