We’re honestly glad that most of these people are dead.
As we wait impatiently for the eighth and final season of Game of Thrones, we’re fondly thinking back on our favourite memories from the first seven seasons of the now-legendary HBO show.
But not every moment has filled us with delight, and not just because our favourite characters were being axed off half the time. Some scenes, some storylines and some characters were nothing more than a drag on the show.
Now, with six episodes to go, it’s easy to see where the show wasted valuable time by telling the story of bad, bad characters.
(Spoiler alert)
15) Dorne
The Sand Snakes got a pretty raw deal. The bastard daughters of Oberyn ‘Coolest Man Alive’ Martell, they had a lot to live up to. Sadly, filling the Red Viper’s shoes proved an impossible task. Their mother wasn’t any better, and the leader of Dorne – Doran – did nothing throughout the entire series but sit on his throne and get killed.
And in the end, they all just died. Not a one of them achieved their goal. Game of Thrones is cruel, we can accept that, but being boring? For that, we will not stand.
14) Ed Sheeran’s character
Halfway through the first episode of Season 7, Arya comes across a group of Lannisters singing songs ’round the campfire, only to discover that one of them is Ed Sheeran. The showrunners did nothing to make him look less Ed Sheeran-y, and he is singing a very Sheeran-y song. So he’s literally just Ed Sheeran.
Arya compliments his song and he smugly replies: “Thanks, it’s a new one.” Quite simply, what on earth were they thinking?
Gets a small pass because he’s only in it for like five seconds.
13) Janos Slynt
One of Janos Slynt’s first acts on the show is to betray Ned Stark in the throne room, so that was a dick move.
But he’s not a traitor in the cool way that Littlefinger was. He never seemed to have any ambition of his own. Slynt never injected a single scene with any energy. By far and away the best thing about him was when Jon Snow cut his head off. He’s too boring to have any higher up this list. We suspect that the creators realised how unpopular he was, and that’s why they made him look like such a weasel in death.
12) Daario Naharis
Am I jealous that Emilia Clarke’s character fancies him? Yeah, maybe. What’s your point. I’m not the one on trial here. For one of the best soldiers in the universe, Naharis doesn’t have any of the personality that other leading nights have. His primary purpose is to be a fuck buddy for Danaerys Targaryen, so in the end his reputation is buried beneath what we actually see him doing. If you’d rather watch a Daario scene than a scene with The Hound, Ser Barristan, Bronn, Beric Dondarrion, Thoros of Myr, et al. then you clearly just have a crush on Michael Huisman.
Dany leaves him behind at the start of Season 7 and we don’t blame her.
11) Edmure “The Loser” Tully
Some characters suck because they are a poor execution of a good idea. Edmure sucks because he is the perfect execution of a guy who sucks.
We are introduced to Edmure when he messes up his own father’s funeral. We last saw him as a hostage of Walder Frey. Ended up getting totally duped at the Red Wedding and looked like a right mug.
Compared to his badass uncle and sister, Edmure looks like a real dork. In a show like Game of Thrones, dorks just do not cut it.
10) The Arryn Family
The show ostensibly starts with the murder of Jon Arryn, a man beloved by Ned Stark and Robert Baratheon. Sadly, Jon’s wife and son are absolutely unbearable.
Lysa lives on top of a cliff and breastfeeds her 10-year-old child Robin, while obsessing over Littlefinger, the love of her life somehow. She looks like a Who from Whoville, and her son is a spoilt weirdo. Bad.
9) Stannis Baratheon
Stannis had the makings of a good character. Honourable as all get out, a fierce military leader and lust for a magic priestess. Too bad he kept doing stupid stuff over and over again. He killed his brother with dark magic, he fucked up his attack on King’s Landing despite having a clear advantage, he burned his daughter alive and then he was absolutely torn apart by Ramsay Bolton and his 20 good men. Deserved to die.
He does get a disclaimer of being better in the books, where he is still alive.
8) Dickon Tarly
Dickon Tarly’s entire story arc in the series is to be introduced to us, have Jaime Lannister laugh at his name, have Bronn laugh at his name, and to then be burned alive by dragonfire next to his father. Pure cruelty from the writers. Suck on that, Dickon.
7) Theon Greyjoy
Game of Thrones has asked for a lot from fans when it comes to Theon. After he betrayed Robb Stark, caused the death of Maester Luwin, and destroyed the home of Bran and Rickon, destroying their lives forever, he was always going to have a long road back. He never really did anything to get back into our good books. He was tortured and castrated by Ramsay, he watched Ramsay rape Sansa, and turned into a pathetic quivering coward — culminating in the moment when he abandoned his sister to the clutches of Euron. He eventually rescues Sansa but it’s not a strong pay-off.
Why Theon is still treated by the show-runners as a main character whose arc should be followed along the likes of Jon and Dany is a mystery.
We’ve had to wait this long at least for Theon to reach his moment of redemption. Has it all been worth it? Absolutely not.
6) Meryn Trant
Meryn Trant is very plausibly the worst person in the show and that’s saying a lot. A Kingsguard knight who serves as a manifestation of the worst instincts of the Lannisters, he basically showed up on screen whenever Joffrey needed somebody to hit Sansa — which he did, with relish.
He met his demise in a brothel where he was looking for a young girl, in what is absolutely one of the show’s most uncomfortable scenes (that’s saying a lot too). He’d be number one if his character ever had any importance to the storyline besides being scum.
5) Rickon Stark
Throughout the series, the youngest Stark never offered anything besides serving as a hostage for Ramsay Bolton.
His death is one of the most comical in the series. He is taunted by Ramsay – “Do you like games, little man?” – when he is clearly inches taller than the diminutive Iwan Rheon. He was supposed to be six or seven in the scene, but instead he was 14.
Nothing about Rickon worked, and in the end, he was more of a plot device than a character.
4) Euron Greyjoy
Euron Greyjoy was hyped up as the second coming of Ramsay Bolton. Indeed, Euron’s actor Pilou Asbaek said before Season 7 that “after this season, Ramsay’s gonna look like a little kid.” You lied to us Asbaek. You lied.
Euron has been a pretty toothless villain. He has killed a few measly Greyjoys and taken Yara captive, but otherwise he has not done a good job of bringing the fear factor. At best, he is just one of Cersei’s lackeys — like Qyburn or The Mountain.
Not quite the worst character, but certainly the biggest disappointment.
3) Shae
Shae was a bad character long before she wrongly believed Tyrion was cheating on her with Sansa and provided that humiliating false testimony that condemned him to death. After Tyrion is forced into marrying Sansa, she becomes unhinged from reality, and rather than escaping to safety, she destroys Tyrion’s life.
Then she sleeps with his father, and tries to kill Tyrion.
And in the Game of Thrones context, all of that would actually be pretty cool, only for the creators deciding that Shae should do it all while being extremely mopey, rather than compelling. Not helped by the fact that her entire background is untouched throughout the series.
2) Pyat Pree
Aw man, what the fuck, dude? Get outta here man. I don’t need that shit.
Danaerys’s storyline was long divorced from the goings on of Westeros, and as such, some of the characters who passed in and out weren’t very well developed. There was Hizdahr Zo Lorak. There was Kraznys mo Nakloz. But Pyat Pree single-handedly escalated the creepy-factor of the show, multiplying himself and looking all weird and sounding all Scottish for some reason, before eventually being very handily killed by the dragons.
Just unpleasant to look at.
Agh, jeez. Get out of here, bro.
1) Olly
Something wasn’t right about this kid from the moment he escaped the wildlings. There were always way too many reaction shots of him squinting at important times, times when Jon was talking or doing anything. He was always up to something. Always plotting. It turns out he was getting ready to betray Jon, his Lord Commander, all because he couldn’t overcome his prejudice against the wildlings.
You got what you deserved, Olly, you snitch. You wanna act like a big man, mate? This is what you get Olly. This is what you get.
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