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You don’t hear people talking about these things up in the big shmoke
From potholes to tiny primary schools, there are things that people only understand if they grew up in a rural Irish town. The people you meet to the things they say, it’s not a stretch to say there’s nowhere else on earth quite like a rural Irish town.
Brand-new Irish movie Dark Lies the Island is set in small rural village called Dromord (yes it’s a palindrome) where everything is owned by the one family. From the outside it seems quaint, but bubbling underneath the surface are sex, violence, dark memories, murderous intentions, jealousy, guilt and betrayal.
To celebrate we’ve set out the things you only hear in a rural village, including some unique phrases to study before you get to see it in cinemas from 18 October.
“Grand soft day”
The original. The go-to.
This is the basis of many a conversation with shopkeepers, chippers and bus drivers. It can be applied to anything from a scorching Saturday in June to, if you’re gas craic, a wild Wednesday in December (this must include a hint of sarcasm).
“Great day for the parish”
Noticing a trend here? Describing what kind of day it is will always get a good conversation going.
A great day for the parish could be anything from an Under-8’s hurling blitz to a cake sale in the school hall. Once there’s someone setting up a table with luke-warm cans of soft drink and squashed chocolate bars, you’re in for a treat.
“Minerals”
You didn’t notice the glaring mistake in that last paragraph, did you?
Don’t you dare ever call them soft drinks…
“His father would’ve made County if he kept at it”
Imagine the standard of the All-Ireland if the players of every GAA club up and down the country had lived up to their reputation. Somewhere at this very moment, the most talented footballer that ever lived is probably regaling the town with stories of how much better he is than the current squad.
It’s a tragedy really.
“He wasn’t setting the world on fire”
Pretty much the exact opposite of what we just spoke about. This is a lad who hasn’t exactly been living up to his expectations, or just couldn’t be bothered to even try.
The type of lad that if there was work going in the bed, he’d sleep on the floor.
“Fine cuttin’ weather”
This can also be applied to drying your clothes, but we decided to opt for towns blessed with decent bogs. There’s no finer place to get a tan than up in the bog on a summer’s day, and no better place than the very same for a “hang sangich” and a flask of tae.
There’s farmer’s tan, and then there’s bog farmer’s tan.
“Ara sure”
To the untrained eye, this probably doesn’t even look like a complete sentence. That’s where you’re wrong.
This is the ultimate way to end a conversation that isn’t really going anywhere, but you don’t want to seem rude. It’s always open to interpretation, but at the same time everyone knows exactly what you mean.
“Did you hear they’re building 275 houses up that road?”
Gone are the days when the directions to your house were “turn right at the church, drive straight for five minutes and we’re the third house down.”
The times are a-changing, and for some reason that narrow laneway beside your house has now gotten planning permission for a miniature city. Madness.
Dark Lies the Island hits cinemas soon
General release tickets are on sale now, and it’ll be out in cinemas on Friday, 18 October.
Dark Lies the Island is in cinemas from 18 October, book your tickets now #darklies
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