He’s tremendous fun.
Ah hello there, how’s it hanging?
Father Ted has some truly wonderful characters but a recent accident of mine – I dropped a mug on my toe – instantly reminded me of one of the greatest priests of all-time, the accident prone Father Larry Duff.
His voice, style and indestructible Looney Tunes-esque bad luck has had one effect though, it made me laugh my ass off.
Here are some of his most memorable accidents.
Episode: Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading.
What happened: A call from Ted causes Larry to lose £10,000 in a gameshow. We’ve all played this incredibly frustrating ‘buzz’ game before but none of us have lost ten grand while doing it. That money might have come in handy to pay for his medical bills.
Likely injuries: Mental anguish and extreme rage.
Episode: Old Grey Whistle Theft.
What happened: Larry and some other priests try to visit Ted for a picnic. It’s a shame that Father Williams had “a big box of machine guns” concealed in his house.
Cue the rogue priest legging it from the authorities before being gunned down in a hail of bullets.
Likely injuries: Not too bad, although missing a picnic and seeing your mate getting riddled with bullets might upset him.
Episode: Tentacles of Doom.
What happened: The priest gets skewered by a blindfolded knife thrower. The sound of it hitting him shouldn’t be funny but it is.
Likely injuries: Severe laceration of the skin, potential blood loss and a fear of magic shows.
Episode: A Christmassy Ted.
What happened: Ted calls Larry while he’s skiing down the mountain and proceeds to hit every single tree and break almost every bone in his body. He never should have worn the number 13.
To compound a potential compound fracture, Ted calls him again and the sound of his ringtone causes an avalanche.
Likely injuries: Fractures everywhere, whiplash and potential starvation. How did he get out?
Episode: Flight Into Terror.
What happened: In a bid to get over his fear of flying, Ted gives his old buddy Larry a call because he had some sage advice. According to Duffer “you’ve more chance of being trampled by donkeys than being killed in a plane crash.”
Cue Larry desperately screaming for help after being trampled by wild donkeys.
Likely injuries: Broken bones, a shattered ego and a hilarious case of schadenfreude. He made an ass out of himself.
Episode: New Jack City.
What happened: We all thought that Larry was finally going to win one. His house of cards looked impeccable but things just aren’t meant to be. Haven’t we all mistaken a phone for a stapler at some point and lodged some tiny shards of metal into our heads?
Nope, just him.
Likely injuries:Punctured ear, painful tetanus shot and possibly bruised lung after falling through the table.
Episode: The Plague.
What happened: Proof that you should never give up on your dreams. The conversation starts with arguably the best delivery of any line on the show.
In his own words it was “one of my all-time fantasies. I’d love to have a few hundred rabbits running all over the place.” It’s a shame though that those 12 Rottweilers had the potential to “upset them.”
Cue the dogs tearing the priest from limb-to-limb.
Likely injuries: Take your pick. He was literally in the jaws of life. There’s something truly wonderful about this image though.
Episode: Hell.
What happened: The greatest message against using your mobile while driving a car.
Likely injuries: How did he survive? Father Larry Duff = indestructible. His scream still makes me laugh.
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