Holy Batman Day…
A few days ago, JOE brought you this very cool image of the evolution of the Batman icon in preparation for Batman Day. Well lads, that joyous day is now upon us and to celebrate, we are taking an alternate look at the world of the the Dark Knight.
If you’re like JOE then you may have wondered what the Caped Crusader would be like if he was Irish.
1) This would be his name and logo
Image via – Hairy Baby
2) The Batmobile would look like this
3) The dialogue would sound something like this
Why so serious? = Are you not up for the craic?
Have you ever danced with the Devil by the pale moonlight? = Stay away from that lad, he isn’t right in the head.
Where does he get those wonderful toys? = The jammy sod with all his gizmos.
Do I really look like guy with a plan? = I haven’t got a fecking clue what I’m doing.
Some men just want to watch the world burn = That eejit just wants to wreck the place.
The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming. = Things are shite and they aren’t going to change.
4) The locations would be
If we were shooting a movie in Ireland then;
Gotham City is now Galway City, Ace Chemicals where Jack Nicholson was transformed into the Joker is now the Guinness Storehouse, Arkham Asylum is most nightclubs in Ireland over the weekend, Wayne Manor is Áras an Uachtaráin and the Bat Cave is Dunmore Cave in Kilkenny.
5) The TV show would be captioned like this
Image via – Hairy Baby
6) The list of potential Batmans would include
A) Colin Farrell because he has the whole playboy image down to a tee plus he has already played a dark intense superhero.
B) Roy Keane because he has perfected the brooding, menacing and intense growl, however, his performances on the pitch are nothing short of heroic and people still look up to him. Like Batman, he also lives by a strict moral code and refuses to be intimidated.
C) Conor McGregor because he is seriously ripped and could beat 73 shades of crap out of any potential villain.
D) Denis O’Brien because he is a multi bajillion gillion billionaire who could afford all those wonderful toys that the Dark Knight has.
Bill O’Herlihy would definitely be Alfred because he is well spoken, reliable, trustworthy, isn’t afraid to ask the hard questions but most importantly he offers loads of quotable advice.
7) Rather than cave diving or spelunking he would play hurling
8) The list of villains could include
Mrs Doyle as Catwoman, she has so much agility that she can climb down from any ledge of the Craggy Island parochial house without ever falling over. Oh, wait.
Keith Barry as The Riddler, he can play tricks on most people and the poor souls probably still think that magic is real.
Martin King as Mr Freeze, who else can deliver all the regular bad news about our all to regular icy Irish winters. JOE would love to see him say this in his best Arnie voice, “You’re not sending ME to the COOLER!”.
Diarmuid Gavin as Poison Ivy because he loves gardens. We wonder what he might look like in a dress though.
9) His utility belt would include
A can of WD-40, an Iphone with zero battery, a lighter, receipts from last week’s pints, a wallet that only contains a ticket stub from an old GAA match, a hurl, a key-chain with only two keys on it and €3.47 in loose change.
10) Cillian Murphy could actually have been the Caped Crusader
This could all have been a reality. Take a look at the Cork actors audition for the role of Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins.
As we all know, Murphy was brilliant in the role of Scarecrow in the same film but his take on The Dark Knight would have been interesting to see.
Clip via – Alejandro Dieguez
So what do you uys think. Let us know in the comments box below if there is anything that could have been added to the list.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
