They know nothing.
The equivalent of political winter is coming for some of Ireland’s TDs and parties because lots of people could be left out in the wilderness after the General Election.
The recent televised debates didn’t quite see Enda Kenny order any decapitations, flay his political rivals or launch an invasion of Fianna Fáil’s offices but they were still pretty interesting.
With this in mind, if Irish political parties were Houses in Game of Thrones then they would be…
Fianna Fáil – House Lannister
Just like the former King Joffrey, Bertie Ahern and Brian Cowen continue to be figures of hatred throughout the 32 counties of Ireland and it’s very likely that they would also face a barrage of insults when walking through the streets.
Much like the recently appointed King Tommen, Michael Martin is at pains to stress that his potential reign will be different from his predecessor but the people just can’t forget the painful past that easily.
House Lannister has always been at the high table of politics in Westeros, just like Fianna Fáil then, but their stranglehold on power has been weakened following a rising threat to their position of dominance from some political rivals that smell blood and a huge sway against them in public opinion.
Still though, they’re solely focused on restoring their former glories but like the Lannisters, do they pay their own debts?
Labour – House Tyrell
They’re also currently part of an uneasy alliance with the Lannisters but House Tyrell has always thrived from being in this position.
They’ve secured their status in the realm by making smart political choices that boost their own hegemony but Labour’s/House Tyrell’s credibility and future is looking far from secure.
While there are certain people that have an intense dislike towards Joan Burton – not unlike Olenna or Margery Tyrell – Labour still somehow manage to manoeuvre themselves into a position of power.
Fine Gael – House Stark
Like House Stark, Fine Gael spent years outside of the corridors of power in Irish society and it seemed like they would never become the key decision-makers in the realm.
Game of Thrones fans will remember that Robert Baratheon only turned to Ned Stark for help when his right-hand, Jon Arryn, was murdered in a devious and horrific plot.
Well, substitute the IMF bailout and economic implosion with Jon Arryn’s death and you have the same thing.
In a nutsehll, trust was broken, s**t hit the fan and change was inevitable.
Just like Enda Kenny, Ned Stark claimed a position in the government because he was enthusiastic, loyal and a trusted servant.
After years of paying his dues, he finally earned his place at the big table in King’s Landing.
It’s just a shame that he turned out to be utterly clueless, labelled a traitor and, ultimately, beheaded.
Sinn Fein – Night’s Watch
In a historical context, the Night’s Watch have always been more concerned with events in The North but recent events has caused them to take a more active part in southern politics.
There’s no denying the somewhat murky nature of these crows because the majority are outcasts, exiles and have an ‘interesting’ backstory.
The majority of the Night’s Watch members ‘took the black’ because they wanted to become more legitimate and upstanding but there’s no escaping the past.
Some might argue that the Night’s Watch still have a better perspective of what people in the southern regions actually want though because they haven’t been in power before or become tainted by the trappings of political rule just yet.
The Greens – House Targaryen
Well, there’s only one of them left that can make a difference now. Isn’t there?
Despite Daenerys‘ best intentions to plot a new course for her own house, there’s no denying the fact that she’s always going to be linked to ‘The Mad King’ Aerys II and his actions (ahem).
In the series, the Targaryen children were forced into exile and left utterly devoid of power, friends and financial power.
They had to rebuild from scratch but to her credit, Daenerys refused to give up hope and slowly went about restoring the reputation and credibility of House Targaryen throughout Westeros.
Maybe she’s an example for Eamon Ryan to follow? Still though, where’s he gonna get those dragons from?
RENUA – Faith Militant
The High Sparrow and his group of devout followers seem intent on cleaning up the morality of every single person in King’s Landing and they’re not afraid to take on some of the heavy hitters in the city – Cersei Lannister and Margaery Tyrell will testify to that.
They like to cry ‘Shame, Shame, Shame!’ on the wrongdoers in the realm but some of their right-wing views don’t play well with the man on the street.
Social Democrats – Children of the Forest
Bran Stark is currently developing his skills as a Warg with the the three-eyed-raven but we reckon that most of his visions are fairly gloomy.
Not unlike the rhetoric of Stephen Donnelly, Catherine Murphy and Róisín Shortall then.
No jokes here.
Independents – House Greyjoy
They proudly stand behind their status as outsiders but they still kick up a fuss whenever the Iron Throne is available.
No one has really paid much attention to them in Game of Thrones because they’re insignificant when measured against the power of the bigger Houses.
Just like Mick Wallace, you’ll also never see Theon Greyjoy wearing a tie.
AAA/People before Profit – Wildlings
They’re just running around, making noise and firing political arrows at anything that moves.
People say that they’re just rabble-rousers because they talked about the imminent threat of the White Walkers, the IMF, Night’s Watch, water charges and other tax/social issues but all they really want is to be taken seriously and have some say in how the realm is being run.
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
