The Big Reviewski – Top 5 films in this week’s Irish Box Office

JOE brings you the run-down, the low-down and the ups and downs of the top 5 films in this week’s Irish Box Office (7/6 – 9/6) with thanks to Magnet and it looks like the Wolfpack has finally been knocked off the top spot.

1. After Earth  How much of your lovely money they took: €111,529 Back in 1996’s Independence Day, Will Smith was welcoming aliens to Earth in his own special summer blockbuster way, and it seems like the creatures of this planet are returning the favour in his latest outing, After Earth. Set 1000 years in the future, mankind now lives on Nova Prime after abandoning Earth due to the fact that EVERYTHING has evolved to kill all humans. That fluffy, bunny you think is so cute? Wants to kill you… so, yeah. Will Smith plays Cypher Raige a grizzled old grumpy General who’s neither grizzled nor old and who spends most of the film’s running time sitting in a chair. His son Jaden plays his son Kitai, an aspiring young space Ranger who just wants to make his Pops proud while, at the same time, is haunted by the death of his sister at the claws of an evil, fear-smelling alien creature known as an Ursa. The main problem with the movie, is that this indulgent, vanity project of a film just can’t be carried by Jaden Smith as the lead actor. Poor, poor Jaden Smith. The 14 year old has all of the looks but none of the charm of his dad, something that is all too obvious when he’s onscreen which, unfortunately for both us and him, just happens to be pretty much for the entire 100 minute running time. Additionally, even Will Smith isn’t his usual chirpy Will Smith self, and no amount of wishful thinking manages to spur him out of his chair. As a result, After Earth is left as bland, boring lump of a thing with occasional beautiful shots but ultimately, this family pet project has crash-landed into cinemas in a bad way. 2. The Hangover Part III  How much of your lovely money they took: €1,623,779 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=h8pnsreFryg#action=share “The End” the tagline said. “Thank God” the audience said. After the first Hangover film was lauded as the greatest comedy of all time by people who had only seen 2 films in their life and by other people who are blind, the 2011 sequel was rightly panned by critics and audiences alike. Because it was pants. The Hangover Part III sees the Wolfpack return to Las Vegas as an intervention-gone-wrong for Alan (Zach Galifianakis) sees Doug (Justin ‘cushiest gig in Hollywood’ Bartha) kidnapped by the villainous gangster Marshall (an underused John Goodman). Marshall’s on the hunt for his nemesis Mr Chow (Ken Jeong), and it’s up to Phil (a bored looking Oscar-nominated Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed ‘the sensible one’ Helms) and Alan to track him down before it’s too late for Doug and he’s… well, we don’t really care to be honest. There’s a bunch of unecessary cameos, a lot of it just isn’t that funny and the biggest mistake is making Mr Chow, the most annoying character from the first two films, the focal point of the third. Bad move Todd Phillips. On the other hand, the film does open with Hanson’s MMMBop so it’s already a gazillion times better than the second, but just doesn’t quite reach the not-so-dizzy heights of the first film. As ever though, the best is saved right until the very end so, if you do go (and you probably will), make sure you stay to watch the very funny end credits. 3. Fast & Furious 6  How much of your lovely money they took: €1,407,848 It’s hard to see how Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) and their merry band of illegal street-racing, bank-robbing, best buds can keep on getting even fastererer and furiouserer but, in their sixth film in the hugely successful Fast and Furious franchise, they’ve made a damn fine attempt at it. Having supposedly gone straight at the end of Fast Five, it would take something pretty big and pretty important to bring all of the gang out of their self-imposed retirement. It turns out that the something pretty big is Agent Hobbs (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson) and he turns up with the something pretty important – news that Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), previously presumed dead, is actually alive, has amnesia now and has since teamed up with cool car-driving criminal mastermind, Owen Shaw (Luke Evans). And so, old enemies Dom and Hobbs are forced join forces to take down Shaw and his cronies. While spectacularly crashing cars through aeroplanes and performing flying headbutts on unsuspecting humans who get in their way. Read the official JOE review here. 4. Epic   How much of your lovely money they took: €666,431 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=-xu3JLXfuwQ#action=share The latest animated adventure from Blue Sky Studios, the studio that brought you too many Ice Age films, has been repeatedly described as a Fern Gully rip-off. Be careful though, director Chris Wedge doesn’t like comparing it to other films, a sentiment he made clear when he said “I hate to associate it with other movies. It is an adventure on the scale of Star Wars. And it does immerse the audience completely in a world like Avatar.” Ahmm, good work on not comparing it to other films Chris. Epic tells the story of M. K. (Amanda Seyfried), a teenage girl who finds herself in a secret forest world where she must help the local creatures save their world from evil forces led by the villainous Mandrake (Christoph Waltz – the go to Hollywood incarnation of animated evil). A decent animated film that has enough in it to keep the little kids and the big kids suitably entertained throughout. 5. The Great Gatsby  How much of your lovely money they took: €1,043,696 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=TaBVLhcHcc0#action=share Baz Luhrmann’s much anticipated adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s iconic American novel has finally arrived and it’s unfortunately not really as great as its title might suggest. The Yeah It’s Grand Gatsby is its new name now. That’s much better. Following the life and times of millionaire Jay Gatsby (the always excellent Leonardo DiCaprio) as seen through the eyes of his neighbour Nick (the always creepy Tobey Maguire), The Great Gatsby is a beautiful looking film and well acted for the most part but just doesn’t live up to the promise of the early trailers that had fans foaming at the mouth. Foaming in a good way of course. It does feature a brilliant mashup-of-genres soundtrack though and Joel Edgerton as Tom Buchanan gives DiCaprio a run for his (lots of) money in the standout performances stakes, but it just seems like Luhrmann has missed the opportunity to make an outstanding adaptation here. There you have it folks. If you want to find out more about any of the movie mentioned above make sure you have the best broadband in town when you're doing it. The lads over at Magnet should be able to help thanks to their 70mb fatpipe broadband. Source: Irish Film Board and Rentrak. Correct as of 14th June 2013.