“Tiki-taka” and 11 other footballing terms that Sky GAA will probably claim as their own…

What the feck is a “hat-trick point?”

Following the ‘invention’ of the term “hat-trick point” by the Sky Sports News team over the weekend, here are a selection of other footablling terms that are sure to be given a new GAA home over the course of this season’s Championship.

You can check out the debut usage of Cormac Costello’s “hat-trick point” by clicking here and have a wee gander the rest of the brand new terms below. All royalties are coming JOE’s way, yeah Sky? Yeah.

“The 16th man”

What it means in football: The man previously known as “The 12th Man”, but he’s now suffering an identity crisis.

What it means to the folks at Sky GAA: After the 12th, 13th, 14th and the 15th men were all called up to the first team to play in Páirc Uí Chaoimh this Sunday, the 16th man was brought in to offer vocal support to the players on the pitch. The 16th man is a bit of a liability though and not to be trusted, mainly because both teams claim him as their own.

The turncoat b*stard.

“4-4-2”

What it means in football: One of the most popular team formations adopted by football teams, especially common during the 1990s and the early 2000s.

What it means to the folks at Sky GAA: The winning raffle ticket in this week’s Club draw. (It’s a pink ticket by the way).

“Tiki-taka”

What it means in football: The style of attractive, passing football primarily associated with Barcelona teams under the management of Johann Cruyff and Pep Guardiola.

What it means to the folks at Sky GAA: The dish that the one of the selectors ordered for takeaway last Friday night – “That’s right, I’ll have two onion bhaji, one garlic nan and a large portion of Chicken Tiki-Taka Masala. Sound.”

“Bicycle kick”

What it means in football: Made popular by JOE on the five-a-side pitch, the bicycle kick is defined as a physical move made by throwing the body up into the air, making a shearing movement with the legs to get one leg in front of the other without holding on to the ground.

What it means to the folks at Sky GAA: A little-known tradition from County Carlow where the players literally ‘kick the bicycle’ belonging to the team member who scored the most points on match day. It’s a true honour to have your bicycle kicked.

“Ballon d’Or”

What it means in football: An annual award presented to the European player who has been voted to have performed the best over the previous year.

What it means to the folks at Sky GAA: The Ballon d’Or is often confused with Ballindor, a small village in the back arse of Donegal consiting of 37 people, 12,935 sheep and 423 pubs. What? Sheep get thirsty too.

“Corner flag”

What it means in football: Flags that are used to clearly mark all four corners of the pitch.

What it means to the folks at Sky GAA: Specially-made, highly-visible flags handed out to all corner forwards and corner backs so that they can be easily spotted and identified by the commentator during the match. Carrying them is a mandatory requirement, even if you’ve got a hurl in hand.

“European night”

What it means in football: A phrase that conjures up some amazing memories of both Irish and English football clubs achieving incredible results against European opposition, usually on a midweek night underneath the stadium’s floodlights.

What it means to the folks at Sky GAA: When the local club decides to hold a GAAllic-themed night to raise funds and everyone and their Granny comes dressed a stereotypical Frenchman. Sacrebleu!

“False 9”

What it means in football: A false 9 is a player who doesn’t play the traditional centre forward role, but looks to drop deep into midfield and make forward runs without a partner striker.

What it means to the folks at Sky GAA: The (entirely unofficial) nickname for this particular GAA player who (maybe), as a result of multiple onfield altercations, now has so many false teeth that even Julia Roberts slags his false dentures off.

“Hollywood ball”

What it means in football: A spectacular-looking long range pass, but one which rarely achieves what the passer hopes. Most commonly associated with midfield maestros Steven Gerrard and Paul Scholes. And JOE again of course.

What it means to the folks at Sky GAA: The Hollywood ball is not to be confused with the Holywood ball, a perfect pass which was originally practised in remote areas of Co. Down, mainly around the Holywood region. Obviously.

“Parking the bus”

What it means in football: An expression used when all of the players on a team play defensively, usually when the team is winning by a narrow margin

What it means to the folks at Sky GAA: Quite literally the perfect response to the question “where’s Jimmy, the lad who’s responsible for parking our team bus on match day?”

“Oh, he’s outside… parking the bus.”

See? Told you.

“Shin pads”

What it means in football:  A pad that’s worn to protect the player’s shin.

What it means to the folks at Sky GAA: Shin what? Pads? To protect your shins? Sorry, we don’t understand the concept.

“Step over”

What it means in football: A dribbling move or feint, used to fool a defensive player into thinking the offensive player, in possession of the ball, is going to move in a direction he does not intend to move in.

What it means to the folks at Sky GAA: The phrase used to describe the physical motion as you, quite literally, step over the body of your opponent who you’ve absolutely left flattened and in a crumpled heap on the ground.

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