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05th Mar 2015

18 reasons why Noel Gallagher is a God

Don't ever change Noel

Paul Moore

Don’t ever change Noel

It’s this writers opinion that there’s no one else in music that’s as interesting as Noel Gallagher when it comes to giving an interview.

You don’t even have to like his work with Oasis or High Flying Birds to appreciate his wit, genius and balls when it comes to speaking his mind.

Noel came to Dublin, saw and conquered the 3Arena yet again with another class performance and here’s just a few reasons why we absolutely love him in JOE Towers.

We could have given a million more.

His views on Liam

“He’s rude, arrogant, intimidating and lazy. He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet. He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.”

What he thinks about Bastille

“Music is very middle class, I’d have eaten Bastille alive in an afternoon in the ’90s, one interview, destroyed, gone, never to be heard of again. Easy, had ‘em for breakfast”.

Does he like hip-hop?

“I fucking despise hip-hop. Loathe it. Eminem is a fucking idito and I find 50 Cent the most distasteful character I have ever crossed in my life.”

He wrote this anthem

Does he spend his money?

“I had built for me a customized 1967 Mark II Jaguar convertible at a cost of £110,000, and I haven’t got a driving license. It’s useless to me.”
He once scored a point in a GAA match at Croke Park

How does he rate himself?

“I’m average at fucking best”.

On his rebellious ways

“Got thrown out of a taxi this morning. At least I think I did. Hard to tell over here. There was shouting and pointing and then the international hand sigal for ‘Get the fuck out of my cab, you western dog!’

His vocals on this track

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMazI2ROJXM

The art of being a musician

“It’s a human playing a tree. Three chords on a guitar: now write a song. I only KNOW 11! But I tell you what, God help you when i find the 12th!”

Does he like making music videos?

“I fucking hate videos. I hate everything about them. I hate the fact that they cost a fortune, I hate the fact that you’ve gotta be there at eight in the morning, I hate the fact that you don’t leave until eight the fucking next morning, I don’t like the fact the people who’re making them think they’re fucking making Apocalypse Now.“

On the Kaiser Chiefs

“Well, they are wankers though. The worst thing about them is that they’re not very good. They play dress-up and sit on top of an apex of meaninglessness. They don’t mean anything to anybody apart from their fucking ugly girlfriends.”

The funniest video on YouTube

The worst torture

“Being sat beside Liam on a 15-hour flight. It happened just the once, going to Japan or somewhere. It’s just horrible.”

On Victoria Beckham

“Why is Posh Beckham writing a fucking book of her memoirs? she can’t even chew chewing gum and walk in a fucking straight line at the same time, let alone write a book.”

What’s the funniest thing in the world?

Is there anything funnier than a dog, going down the high street with his face hangin’ out the window? Y’know when you see dogs in the passenger seat, someone’s wound down the window AND the dog’s got his face out the window and he’s like “Whoa! We’re goin’ 43 miles an hour!” and he’s got his tongue out.

His tombstone will read?

THANKS A MILLION. THAT WAS REALLY FUCKING GREAT. NOW GET THE FUCK OFF MY GRAVE.

This song

Quotes via – NME

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