You’re welcome Kanye West, you’re welcome…
Following his extravagant engagement to the (current) love of his life, Kim Kardashian, Kanye West – the man Jesus Christ wishes he could be – may potentially be gracing Irish shores for what will be an undoubtedly completely over the top stag do.
*JOE sits by phone waiting for inevitable invite*
Certain parts of Ireland – that’s right Temple Bar, we’re looking at you – are notoriously popular with gallivanting, visiting stag dos and hen parties from all across the world, so it’s no surprise that the global rap star is considering this fair green isle as his potential port of party call.
To help make matters easier for the soon-to-be Mr Kardashian, here at JOE HQ we’ve compiled a list of nine must-see locations and must-do activities that the hip hop happening star should check out, if and/or when he comes here with his pimped-up posse. Because it’s not like he hasn’t got a PR team of 374 people looking into it already.
You’re welcome Kanye.
Mondello Motorcycle Track Day
Ah, Mondello in County Kildare; the perfect spot for recreating the now infamous music video for the 2013 single, ‘Bound 2’, in which the semi-naked, engaged Kimye couple straddled each other – and a motorbike – and (almost literally) rode their way into our dirrrrrrty dreams forever.
It’s a crackin’ tune alright, but it ain’t got nothing on the Seth Rogen and James Franco version…
Head to The Rose Of Tralee Awards Ceremony… and interrupt Dáithí Ó Sé
Just like he did with Taylor Swift back in 2009, Kanye would be unable to fight the urge to interrupt everyone’s favourite Kerryman, Dáithí ‘Howaya Horse’ Ó Sé, probably interjecting the show’s host with the line…
“Yo Dáithí, I’m really happy for you, I’maa let you finish, but Marty Whelan was one of the best hosts of all time. ONE OF THE BEST HOSTS OF ALL TIME.”
You said it Kanye, sure even Dáithí agrees…
Call in to see President Michael D. at the Áras an Uachtaráin…
Well, we all know that Kanye loves a fine-looking Áras when he sees one…
Visit the Blarney Stone… and expect it to kiss him
Y’know, because he’s great. Why wouldn’t he expect the Blarney Stone, or any inanimate national treasure for that matter, to want to kiss him? And no, that doesn’t include Linda Martin you cheeky little so and so…
Travel to Dingle for a delicious seafood dinner… BUT NO FISHSTICKS
Try his hand at Roscommon’s Arigna Mining Experience
Mining. Coal. Digging. Gold. There’s a Kanye joke buried deep in there somewhere…
Take a trip to the National Wax Museum… to take a picture with himself
We’re not even sure if there is a copy of a Kanye at the National Wax Museum in Dublin but, if there is, you can be guaranteed that West won’t be able to resist the temptation to take a picture with himself.
After all, he’s only gorgeous and he has admitted that one of his biggest regrets in life is that he’ll never be able to see and hear himself perform live.
Life is so cruel sometimes, but this could be as close as he gets to real thing… APART FROM LOOKING IN THE MIRROR YOU MUPPET.
Head to Teddy’s Ice Cream Store in Dun Laoghaire…
We’re assuming that best bud Jay-Z will be heading to Ireland with Kanye, so Teddy’s Ice-Cream parlour is the perfect place to take care of Mr Beyonce’s 99 problems.
We’ll get our coat.
Head to Copper Face Jacks on a night out…
What? What are you waiting for? There’s no joke here. He’s on a stag do. In Ireland. Of course he’s going to head to Coppers.
We’re still waiting on that call Kanye…
LISTEN: You Must Be Jokin’ with Aideen McQueen – Faith healers, Coolock craic and Gigging as Gaeilge
