WATCH: Here’s Donald Trump making absolutely no sense in about 45 seconds

Where to even begin with this?

In an alternate universe, Donald Trump would be a tremendous comedy character. A biting satirical critique on what happens when people fail spectacularly upwards and find themselves in positions of unreasonable power, he could be one of the true greats. As it stands, the 45th President of the United States of America is a very real human being and has access to very real things that could end the world with the push of a button. Luckily for us, he's moved past the whole 'nuclear war pissing contest' thing in recent times and has instead chosen to focus on a developing civil war. As America gets to grips with its shutdown issue, Trump is standing firm, for he isn't known for backing down. The latest edition of Donald Trump Says Things finds him defending US commerce secretary Wilbur Ross, who has been roundly mocked for arguing that workers affected by the shutdown should take out bank loans in order to bail themselves out. Some people suggested that the 81-year-old multi-millionaire's comments were out of touch, a sentiment that didn't sit well with his boss. Responding to the matter, Trump offered a solution; one that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. "I haven't heard the statement but I do understand that perhaps he should have said it differently," Trump began. "Local people know who they are when they go for groceries and everything else, and I think what Wilbur was probably trying to say is that they will work along. "I know banks are working along. If you have mortgages, the folks collecting the interest and all of those things; they work along. That's what happens in a time like this. "They know the people, they've been dealing with them for years and they work along, and I think that's probably what Wilbur Ross meant but I haven't seen his statement, but he's done a great job, I will tell you that." https://twitter.com/keithboykin/status/1088564931119730690 So there you have it. Can't afford that new iPhone? Just work along. They know you, sure. You're good for it.