Five things you might not know about Pat Kenny

Pat Kenny last night defended having the highest salary in all of RTE by claiming that he is "working harder than ever... for a lot less". Here are five facts about the impoverished broadcaster.

By Emmet Purcell

His infamous Frontline heckler has more Facebook 'Likes' than he does

Remember that really quite creepy guy that heckled Pat live on-air? No, not the guy that referred to poor Pat as a "piece of sh*t" on The Late Late Show, the other manic heckler, from Frontline. Come to think of it, a lot of crazy people enjoy insulting the broadcaster while on TV and we've no idea why. Well, we've some idea... maybe.

Either way, the latter crazy person, who enjoys ruining LUAS journeys too, has an impressive '413' Facebook 'Likes' for a page created in his honour and titled 'THE PAT KENNY SHOW HECKLER APPRECIATION PAGE', while the only page solely dedicated to Pat Kenny has a measly 199 'Likes' by comparison.

With that in mind, does Pat need to pull down his pants, slur insults and poke potential interviewees in the chest from now on to regain the public's respect? Yes, we believe he does.

Pat does NOT lure children into his gingerbread house

Although the joy of Wikipedia is always ever so slightly ruined by actual facts getting in the way, we're thankful that sites such as the parody site Uncyclopedia exist. Having said that, the page dedicated to Pat Kenny is just a tiny bit harsh. Here's a few Uncyclopedia examples of stuff that completely isn't true about Pat Kenny.

* Nickname in college was "The Plank" because he always had a erect penis.

* In his spare time, he likes to lure children into his gingerbread house, fattens them up and then sells them.

* Was once suspected of being "The Midnight Commando", a Batman-style vigilante who fought night crime in late 1970s Dublin.

* Is very superstitious and insisted on eating a newborn baby mandrill before each episode of the Late Late Show.

* Is actually made of wood, with a painted-on face. Is currently considering gluing on bobble eyes.

Compared to John O'Shea, poor Pat reckons he's paid peanuts

Although Pat just about scraped by on a yearly publicly funded salary of €729,604 in 2009, a shameful drop of 23% from his 2008 RTE income of €950k, he can't figure out why taxpayers are making such a fuss over his salary, the biggest at RTE.

After all, doesn't he earn less than an Irish footballer playing for one of the world's biggest club's for the world's popular sport? Yep, that's the logic Pat used last summer to compare his tiny earnings in comparison to Irish international John O'Shea.

"I often wonder why there isn't the same fuss over the salaries paid to footballers like John O'Shea, earning more in three weeks than Marian Finucane earns in a year," Pat told the Irish Independent last year.

"There is a double standard there. These people put themselves on the line, they entertain the nation week in, week out, and yet they are paid a trivial amount compared to footballers."

Unfortunately, Pat forgot to mention that what Manchester United pay their players is none of our business, whereas if anyone fails to pay their TV licence so that RTE can pay Pat's wages, they'll end up facing jail time. Maybe next time, Pat.

If you mess with him, he will run at you "with fists raised"

You may not think it to look at him, but Pat Kenny would f*ck you up. During a well-publicised High Court case in 2008 over the ownership of a nearby field, Pat's neighbour alleged that the RTE host had placed a lock on 'Gorse Hill' without the neighbour's knowledge.

Disputed owner of the 0.2 acre strip of land, Gerard Charlton, aged 73 at the time of the trial, claimed that a physical confrontation between the two broke out, with Pat running at the elderly man "with his fists raised."

We have no idea who emerged victorious from the gentleman's quarrel but things were eventually settled out of court, with Pat buying the land for an undisclosed sum. Whether he also bought Gerard's silence is sadly unknown.

Seriously, don't mention his house...

As evidenced above, anybody that even messes with Pat's property is in need of a right good rollicking, as then-ICTU president Jack O'Connor discovered during a Frontline debate in which he foolishly refered to Pat's abode as a "trophy house". Watch Jack barely escape with his spleen intact in the terrifying showdown below.

Though Jack was talking of increasing taxes on higher earners on the show, he bravely refused to cut his €124,000 pay packet the same year on the grounds that it would be used "an excuse to drive pay cuts across the economy".

Evidently, somebody is scraping the pennies until they can live in a house as sumptuous as the Frontline host's, even if Pat's is riddled with fat children and made of gingerbread.