Skitsnygg! ‘Public masturbation is not a crime’ rules Swedish court 7 years ago

Skitsnygg! ‘Public masturbation is not a crime’ rules Swedish court

As Woody Allen once said, “don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone I love.”

It looks like one Scandinavian judge was a, ahem, firm believer in, ahem again, Woody's mantra as the Södertörn District Court in Sweden this week acquitted a 65-year old man of sexual assault after he had openly masturbated on a Stockholm beach. Insert your own 'sea man' joke here...

According to a report in The Local, the man was acquitted of the crime in court after it was ruled he was not targeting a specific person, with the prosecutor saying it's "okay" to play with yourself in public.

The incident occurred on June 6th at the Drevviken beach when the man removed his shorts and began masturbating close to the water. The District Court acquitted the sex-on-the-brain Swede though stating that it "may be proven that the man exposed himself and masturbated on this occasion", however, the court added that no offence had been committed as the masturbating man was not pleasuring himself towards a specific person.

So, when on a Swedish beach getting jiggy with yourself, remember this  –  DO NOT mention anyone's name out loud and definitely DO NOT shake hands with smiling strangers.

In our own follow-up investigation JOE contacted Sweden’s most famous 'hot dog' expert to find out what he had to say on the matter...