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25th Sep 2014

18 things you’ll hear Irish people say during the Ryder Cup

The Ryder Cup stirs emotions in people they never realised they had and we cannot wait for the big tee-off this Friday. Here are some things that Irish people might be shouting at the telly.

Eric Lalor

The Ryder Cup stirs emotions in people they never realised they had and we cannot wait for the big tee-off this Friday. Here are some things that Irish people might be shouting at the telly.

1. ‘The Americans won’t like all that wind and rain in Scotland.’

A view held by people who believe everywhere in the States is hot and sunny all year round.

2. ‘The state of those uniforms!’

Golfers from both sides will be kitted out in selected uniforms and it would be drastically understating it to say that they don’t always get it right, sartorially speaking.

US Player Steve Pate and Captain Ben Crenshaw during the 33rd Ryder Cup Matches held at The Country Club in Brookline, Massachusetts. (singles matches) Sunday, September 26, 1999. (photograph by The PGA of America).

3. ‘What’s the difference between a fourball and a foursome?’

It comes up every time the Ryder Cup is on. You know you will be asked this at some point. For the record, in fourballs there are four balls in play (Sherlock all over this one) and the best score on either side is the one that counts.

In the foursomes, players on each side take alternate shots and only one ball is used per team. This is where you need to have complete trust in your partner.

4. ‘Those Yanks don’t stand a chance without Tiger.’

People will still say this despite all the evidence showing that Tiger is nowhere near the force of old and even when he was on top form, he had a very mixed record at the Ryder Cup, winning 13, losing 14 and halving two matches. In fact, the last time the USA won the Ryder Cup back in 2008, Tiger was not part of the team.

5. G’wan Paul!

Every single time McGinley’s face appears on our screens, the patriotism will just seep through us.

Previews - 2014 Ryder Cup

6. ‘They need to pair Rory up with G-Mac.’

You’ll hear this from people oblivious to the ongoing court case regarding McIlroy’s messy falling out with sports management company Horizon, who continue to represent McDowell. The pair of them maintain their relationship is just fine all the same.

7. ‘The state of Ricky Fowler’s haircut!’

From the supporters of a team which includes Rory McIlroy and his barnet.

Previews - 2014 Ryder Cup

8. ‘Seven up? Ha! They’re not even red lemonade!’

This is reserved for the players who are on the wrong end of a trouncing.

9. ‘Ian Poulter always wins at the Ryder Cup.’

Not a bad shout considering the Englishman has only lost three matches out of 15. Strangely, he’s never halved a match. He has played four singles matches at the Ryder Cup and has won all four.

Previews - 2014 Ryder Cup

10. ‘G-Mac could play for America with that bleedin’ accent.’

Regarding the Northern Irishman who hails from Portrush, but sounds like he’s from Florida.

11. ‘U-S-A. U-S-A. U-S-A.’

Sometimes it’s impossible not to get caught up in a fancy chat. Remember ‘You don’t win friends with salad’ from The Simpsons?

12. ‘Just tap it in. Give it a little tappy. Tap, tap, tap-a-roo.

No golf tournament is allowed pass with at least one Happy Gilmore reference.

13. ‘How the hell can Europe be on 5½ points?’

Despite fans’ familiarity with the Ryder Cup, the scoring system never fails to confuse.

14. ‘Not that bollix Monty again.’

We may have used this line for a similar piece about the Masters, but it’s applicable for every tournament and pretty much all year round.

Previews - 2014 Ryder Cup

15. ‘If I caught that fella who keeps shouting “get in the hole” I’d sort him out’

The fact the tournament is being played in Europe should limit the amount of annoyingly loud American guys who shout “get in the hole”, but expect to hear it at some point.

16. ‘Jaysus, I remember when I was in (insert American city here)’

The commentators have to talk about 24 men for three long days so expect a mention of the American’s place of birth, which should queue a story about that time someone was on a J1 a few years ago.

17. ‘You haven’t heard of him? Sure he’s been playing great stuff for ages’

The US team have a few lesser known players like Jimmy Walker and Patrick Reed but that won’t stop Johnny Know-it-all pretending he knows all about them. We reckon one follow up question about either will flummox him.

18. ‘I’m definitely going to the driving range next week

The one thing about big sporting events is that they inspire people to play and the Ryder Cup is no different. Your local driving range and course will be full of comeback golfers next week so be ready to hear the word “fore”.