Eight things you might hear down the pub during Scotland v Ireland tonight

Unless you've been living under a rock, you'll know that there is a massive European qualifier happening in Glasgow.

All eyes will be on Celtic Park tonight as Martin O'Neill leads our team into battle with our Celtic cousins in a huge European Championship qualifier. Here is a list of some things you may hear down the pub when it's on... 1. 'Fair play to Scotland for putting in all those green seats.' Some Irish fans will be blissfully unaware that the match is being played at Celtic Park, the home of Glasgow Celtic, and may mistake the green seats around the stadium as an act of kindness from our Scottish brethren. 2. 'I’d fancy Martin O’Neill and Keano in a scrap against Gordon Strachan and Mark McGee.' With the big 'fracas in the Irish team hotel' story still fresh in the mind, there will be many who think that our Roy is invincible when it comes to scraps. We wouldn't bet against him. 3. 'If our lads in charge are known as MonKeano does that mean their two are known as GorGee?' Wordplay and high-jinks always feature on a night out at the pub. We'll let that one just sit here. 4. 'Why are they booing McGeady? Do they want him to play better?' Again, the less informed Irish supporter will have been oblivious to the hoo-haa caused by Gordon McQueen when he said that he hoped both McGeady and McCarthy would be booed mercilessly by the Scottish crowd for shunning the Scots in favour of Ireland, despite both being born in Scotland. 5. 'If it wasn’t for us, Braveheart would have been a much shorter movie.' In reference to the great Mel Gibson epic, where the Irish were seen as allies to William Wallace and his mob. Anyone but England, wha? 6. 'It’s like a Premier League game, this one.' This will always come to the surface when teams from these islands meet. The match might be devoid of silky skills and breathtaking technique, but it won't be short of passion and 100mph football. 7. 'Yeah, they are supposed to be our cousins, but in fairness, some of my cousins are dopes.' The media will have us portrayed as friendly rivals and Celtic cousins, but in the white hot heat of battle, all friendships and alliances are out the window. 8. 'Gordon Strachan could easily have been a hobbit.' The Scottish manager is a journalist's dream. He often gives highly entertaining press conferences or post-match interviews and there is no doubt the man possesses a huge amount of wit. He does not, however, possess a huge amount of height.