The fixture schedule in Dublin is not this guy’s cup of tea and the situation has nearly reached boiling point. Yeah, you can see where this is going.
It can be hard being a club player in the GAA at times. In many counties, fixtures will be changed at a moment’s notice to accommodate the county team, often messing with a player’s social life and making it a nightmare to try and plan holidays, with games often being played at the end of the year in crap conditions, many long months after the season was supposed to end.
So disgruntled was one player playing club under-21 hurling in Dublin at the fixture schedule that he decided to pen a letter to Chairman of the Dublin County Board Andy Kettle and although there are serious sentiments running throughout the letter, they are expressed through very humorous and very eloquently written puns and analogies relating to the surname of the Dublin official.
The JOE reader who sent the letter asked to remain anonymous and informed us that his club are still waiting to complete the 2013 under-21 club hurling Championship, the semi-final of which has been postponed until March 8 at the earliest. He said that the delay is because of the involvement of a number of players with the Dublin senior team, despite previous promises that their involvement would not affect the fixture schedule.
We are aware that this is an unchallenged expression of feelings and if the Dublin County Board would like to issue a response, they are more than welcome to do so, but because the issues addressed are so important and the content so amusing at times, we thought it was worth sharing in its pun-laden entirety below.
One for all the GAA club players and pun-lovers out there.
Andy Kettle,
Chairperson of Dublin County Board
Parnell Park
Donnycarney
Dublin 5
Re: The U21 Hurling Championship of 2013
Dear Mr Kettle,
I am writing to you in connection with the above issue. To be honest, I am at boiling point regarding this matter. It’s not just me Mr Kettle, the other clubs are steaming. I don’t think it will be long until they reach 100 degrees Celsius.
This competition should have been played long ago, in the time when water was heated over the fire. At present, the remaining U21 hurling teams left in the pot are eagerly preparing for the final stages of championship. It is unfair to these teams who are left training for no apparent reason. I would be much obliged if you could please play these fixtures over the coming weeks so we can begin preparing for the next cup.
As you are well aware, preparation is everything. For example when making a cup of tea one would prepare milk, sugar, and the teabag and also ensure the kettle is boiling. This U21 championship is like preparing a cup of tea but the key component, the kettle, is not switched on. It’s as if the sugar and milk are in place however the crucial ingredient, the kettle, is hesitating to act. As you may be aware a dysfunctioning (sic) kettle is a major upset to the Dublin hurling ecosystem.
Please Mr Kettle could you please arrange for the remaining games to be played in the upcoming weeks. This would certainly clear up the County Board’s hectic playing schedule and allow U21 players to focus with their other adult teams.
As you are aware, burnout is a major issue threatening players here in Dublin and across the country. A similar scenario would be when lime scale accrues within the kettle and reduces one’s ability to make tea/coffee and other beverages. Particularly for dual players who are making the big switch between codes which can be difficult, like the transition from oil to various electrical appliances. As Fr. Dougal Maguire once said ‘what happens if you turn the kettle on without water in it’.
In conclusion, I would again ask you to light up the remaining games in our dearly beloved U21 hurling championship. I feel that if Mr Microwave was still in charge of the County Board this issue would be resolved by now.
Yours faithfully,
A frustrated U21 club hurler in Dublin.
