Pic: This set of ‘wild chape’ golf clubs in Newry deserve to be sold for the quality of this Gumtree ad alone 7 years ago

Pic: This set of ‘wild chape’ golf clubs in Newry deserve to be sold for the quality of this Gumtree ad alone

If golf clubs could talk, this set would be able to tell juicier tales than the ones belonging to Tiger Woods.

When selling an item on an online ad site, the person selling the item should be trying to grab the attention of potential buyers by all means necessary.

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One method is to drastically exaggerate the quality of the product being put up for sale; another is to be completely honest about it but to tell a story that will fascinate visitors to the site and win points for entertainment if nothing else.

Having done the latter with a post advertising the availability of a 1997 Seat Inca van earlier in the year, one Gumtree user in Newry has decided to do it all over again in an effort to get rid of a set of old golf clubs they found when clearing out the shed recently.

clubsnewry

The Gumtree user in question doesn’t beat about the bush when it comes to the quality of the merchandise on offer, but the stories surrounding their discovery and why he so desperately needs the £50 asking price, quickly, are pure gold.

We’ve included our favourite snippets below (try to ignore the grammatical errors), but you really should swing by Gumtree and check out the ad in full here. You’ll probably want to buy the clubs too... if we haven’t got there first of course.

"After clearing out my shed I came across this fierce set of golf clubs! I have no idea how they ended up there. I definatley didn't buy them, I'm pretty sure I didn't steal them either but ya know yourself when the drinks in, the wits out! One thing I am sure of is that I have never hit a golf ball with them. They say 'Edinburgh President' on the bit at the bottom that hits the ball which must mean the president of Edinburgh owned them before me."

“My brother tells me there are 7 irons, 3-9, and 3 woods, 1,2 and 4. I think I might have lost the 3 wood one evening when the cows got out. Someone lifted my bit of blue pipe from the back door so I grabbed the club when I seen it sticking out of the bag. Got the cows in and left the club against the ditch. The grass is grown over it now id say.”

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"Anyway, because beating people with golf clubs is frowned upon these days, I need these gone. First £50 or best offer takes them away. I could be doing with them gone by Saturday cuz I'm takin the woman to Fitzpatricks in Carlingford on Saturday night and the Fillet steak isn't too cheap. I'd probably take £40 if it came to it and just go for the chicken but I'd rather £50. Don't make me get the chicken lads."