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3rd July 2014
04:42pm BST

The Gumtree user in question doesn’t beat about the bush when it comes to the quality of the merchandise on offer, but the stories surrounding their discovery and why he so desperately needs the £50 asking price, quickly, are pure gold.
We’ve included our favourite snippets below (try to ignore the grammatical errors), but you really should swing by Gumtree and check out the ad in full here. You’ll probably want to buy the clubs too... if we haven’t got there first of course.
"After clearing out my shed I came across this fierce set of golf clubs! I have no idea how they ended up there. I definatley didn't buy them, I'm pretty sure I didn't steal them either but ya know yourself when the drinks in, the wits out! One thing I am sure of is that I have never hit a golf ball with them. They say 'Edinburgh President' on the bit at the bottom that hits the ball which must mean the president of Edinburgh owned them before me."
“My brother tells me there are 7 irons, 3-9, and 3 woods, 1,2 and 4. I think I might have lost the 3 wood one evening when the cows got out. Someone lifted my bit of blue pipe from the back door so I grabbed the club when I seen it sticking out of the bag. Got the cows in and left the club against the ditch. The grass is grown over it now id say.”
"Anyway, because beating people with golf clubs is frowned upon these days, I need these gone. First £50 or best offer takes them away. I could be doing with them gone by Saturday cuz I'm takin the woman to Fitzpatricks in Carlingford on Saturday night and the Fillet steak isn't too cheap. I'd probably take £40 if it came to it and just go for the chicken but I'd rather £50. Don't make me get the chicken lads."
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