With Roy Keane now favourite to take the vacant manager’s job at Glasgow Celtic, we look at seven things the players can expect under his stewardship if he does end up at Celtic Park.
Blunt appraisals of an individual’s performance/Honesty
Roy is nothing if not a completely honest man. No ducking and diving from the Corkman. If there is something to be said, he will say it. If your performance hasn’t been up to scratch, you can be sure that Roy Keane will be among the first to let you know.
It is said that some players need a good bollo**ing and others need an arm around the shoulder. Keane doesn’t do arms around the shoulders. Look at this picture a journalist tried to take of them both and the ensuing tweet. Cold.
“Can I take a photo please, Roy?” *SILENCE… pic.twitter.com/qKpONReO8F
— Stuart Fraser (@stu_fraser) February 26, 2014
Tanora refreshments:
The legendary Cork-based soft drink will replace all drinks at the club, especially Scottish stable Irn-Bru. There’ll be no water or isotonic rubbish under Roy’s watchful eye. We look forward to a player going down injured and being treated to the magic sponge and some Tanora.
Feeling like they are under the watchful eye of a Jedi-master:
This brilliant picture, taken by Donall Farmer last week in Malahide at the Irish squad training session, captures Roy Keane perfectly. He looks pensive, authoritative and possessive of the ability to hurt you with his mind. The force is certainly strong in Roy Keane, make no mistake about it.
Punctuality is a must
If Roy Keane tells you that training starts at 10am, you have a duty to be there for 9.45am. Tardiness is one of Roy Keane’s pet hates. He simply cannot understand how people can be late. It can terrorise players into doing anything to be on time.
When Keane was manager of Ipswich Town, Irish international Damien Delaney (pic above) picked up a speeding fine. When questioned about it in court, he said in a letter to the judge that he feared being fined by Keane for being late. The letter read “I had an unreasonable boss and was worried I’d be docked two weeks’ wages”.
Mobile phones will be banned at team meetings
When Roy Keane is speaking to you, he expects your undivided attention. If, for some reason, your phone was to ring during his speech, you would inevitably feel his wrath. Witness this press conference and his reaction to a journalist’s phone going off in the middle of it. Watch as his eyes dance around the room hoping to find the perpetrator, who had far bigger balls than we have to be able to respond to him in that manner…
Media Training
Roy Keane was a master of his profession when he played football and he is proving equally adept at being a pundit on the television. He is one of the most refreshingly honest pundits on our screens today. Most people working for English television are happy to throw bouquets at English football rather than criticise it (we’re looking at you Andy Townsend), but not Keane.
Here he is recently, sitting next to Steven Gerrard, telling us how he thinks England will do at the World Cup.
Top class training facilities
We all know what happened in Saipan. It’s a story which will be re-told for centuries to come, but if anything positive was to come out of it, it was Keane’s quest for excellence and his need for professionalism from everyone, not just the team.
You can bet that if he does take over as Celtic manager, they will not be training on a surface akin to a car-park and they will have all the necessary bibs and balls.
