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25th August 2014
02:10pm BST
2. 'No matter what happens here, the league won't be decided tonight.' - Both sets of fans will be throwing this one out ad nauseam before kick-off and of course they are right, but if one of them wins convincingly, the league, of course, is over.
3. 'City are ruining football with their spending.' - City have spent a lot of money, that is true, but their cross city neighbours have spent a huge amount recently and still look like a mid-table side.
4. 'Have City always wore blue as their home kit?' - This one is solely the preserve of the legion of band-wagon fans City have accumulated over the past few years.
5. 'Brendan Rodgers will bring the best out of Mario Balotelli.' - Liverpool fans slightly concerned at Mario's penchant for the ridiculous will be convincing themselves that mind guru and all round Zen presence Brendan Rodgers will tame the beast inside.
6. 'What's the story with Joe Hart's barnet?' - It does seem strange that a man who seemingly has hair with the texture of a Brillo pad is fronting a major shampoo marketing campaign.
7. 'Liverpool have lost their bite.' - Smug City fans will think they are hilarious and clever as a box of encyclopaedias with this one. Suarez would be missed by any team in the world.
8. 'Yaya is the heartbeat of our team.' - City fans will laud Toure as a legend despite his ridiculous attempts to engineer a move away from the club during the summer.
9. The Toure brothers song. - Guaranteed.
10. 'Let's all laugh at United.' - Everyone in the pub, before, during and after the game...
Sports | Joe.ie
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