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Sport

09th Jul 2014

Uh-oh, here’s how some of the papers rated Brazil’s players last night…

Football is a cruel, cruel game...

Paul Moore

Football is a cruel game…

JOE’s still in shock from Germany’s 7-1 thumping of Brazil last night. Seriously, 7-1.

Here’s  how some of the journalists from the Daily Mail, Independent, Guardian, Telegraph and Mirror rated Brazil’s starting XI. It isn’t pretty reading if you’re a Brazilian player.

Julio Cesar –  Telegraph 5/10

“Might have got across to save Kroos’ left-footed finish that made it 3-0, but was actually largely blameless amid the complete defensive shambles that unfolded in front of him.”

Maicon – Mirror 4/10

“Remember that nightmare he had against Bale? This was more painful.”

David Luiz – Telegraph 2/10

“Instead of showing discipline and leadership, rising to the role of captain, he was abysmal, playing only his own game and abdicating all responsibility.”

Brazil v Germany: Semi Final - 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil

Dante – Daily Mail 2.5/10

“Replaced the suspended Thiago Silva. He might as well of not turned up.”

Marcelo – Daily Mail 2/10

“Showed his attacking intent from the outset, forgetting he is actually a left-back.”

Luiz Gustavo – Guardian 4/10

“Had to sit deep as full-backs tried to pile forward but looked out of his depth during goal glut. Sad end to a decent tournament for the midfielder.”

Brazil v Germany: Semi Final - 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil

Fernandinho – Telegraph 2/10

“One of the worst midfield performances in World Cup history. Completely lost the ball before the fourth goal and made weak challenges in the build-up to the second and fourth. Substituted at half-time.”

Oscar – Mirror 3/10

“Totally anonymous. Couldn’t get Brazil playing at all, never got into the game.”

Hulk – Independent 2/10

“Did have an opening or two in Brazil’s bright opening but, not for the first time, lacked the skill to take advantage. Did not make the second half.”

Bernard – Daily Mail 2/10

“Neymar’s replacement. The injured Brazil superstar would have had a bigger impact with a broken back.”

Fred – Telegraph 2/10

“Just as anonymous as he had been for the rest of the tournament and once the damage had been done he was booed and jeered by the fans.”

So judges, what is the average score? A whopping  2.8 when rounded up.  JOE is quite good at maths; we did get plenty of practise adding up the goals that went in last night though. As for Brazil’s players, things could always be worse though; their own newspaper ‘O Globo’ gave every player in the team a zero rating. Take a look.

O Globo

HT – BBCSport