Stealth mode: activated.
At long last, the World Cup is finally upon us and already, it’s been a hell of a few days.
The highlight of the sporting calendar for millions of people around the world, one that we’ve waited four long years for, is finally here.
Not only that, but so far, it’s been a damn good one.
There’s some absolutely brilliant teams, some really exciting players, and some extremely fun countries on display.
It’s a chance to see the players that we see week in, week out in the domestic leagues, but playing with a heightened sense of pride and patriotism.
So far we’ve had Spain and Portugal face off in an all-time classic World Cup match, Cristiano Ronaldo stating his case for being the best footballer of all time, Mexico shocking the world and beating the holders, and some amazing goals.
It’s been great.
But some of you might be complaining that you’re in work during some of the biggest games.
Due to the time difference in Russia, games are taking place all throughout the day, and unfortunately for lots of people, the games fall during work hours.
So we’ve compiled a list of a few sneaky tips to help you get away with watching the World Cup in work…
Pulling a sickie
Now, let’s get one thing clear. We don’t mean pulling a sickie in the conventional sense. In an ideal world, you could just head home, get on the couch and listen to Eamon Dunphy shite on for a few hours, but we understand that this isn’t a possibility for the majority of people.
So instead, what you need to do is drop a few subtle hints that you’re feeling a bit poorly.
Then, when you have to bail off to the toilet for two 45-minute periods, nobody will have the heart to question it.
And the fact that it coincides perfectly with the kick off of Colombia vs Japan? Pure coincidence.
“Researching”
Right. You need an excuse as to why you’re going to suddenly stop typing for an hour and a half. One word: researching.
Researching what, you might ask? Doesn’t matter. Just make sure you stare at the screen intently, add in the occasional head nod as if to say “Hmm. This is an interesting development indeed”.
If you want to go all out, bring a notepad and jot down a few points as you watch the match. Your co-workers might think it’s some important information, when really you’re just working out what your next accumulator is going to be.
Tactically organising your desk
This one requires a bit of ground work. All you have to do is make sure that you’re in a relatively secluded part of the office. If that’s not possible, your job is just a tiny bit more difficult.
You’ll have to do something to hide your computer from the rest of the office.
May we suggest some desk decorations? Some huge flowers to the left of you, and maybe place your briefcase to your right. Nobody will be any the wiser…
Or you could get a Ron Swanson desk and constantly be on the move. You’ll never get caught then.
Have an office sweepstakes
There’s no better way of getting everyone excited for the World Cup. Everyone has a team to support, thus everyone has a reason to watch the games.
This way, if anyone calls you up for watching football in the office, you can just play the “Ah but we’re all watching it” card. Works every time…
Phone streams
Let’s call this Plan B.
All else has failed. Just get a stream on your mobile phone, place it in front of your laptop screen, and you’re sorted. Easy.
Might need to have it on silent though…
Just get it on the computer
If you’re going to do this, you need to be on your toes. You need to be brave.
You might have to very quickly change tabs if you hear the footsteps of your boss behind you. Not everyone is cut out for this lifestyle. It takes a certain type of person.
And if you think you might crack under the pressure, then this definitely isn’t for you. You can always just watch the highlights when you get home…
