Search icon

Sport

10th Jul 2015

White Lies: The Jim White Transfer Rumour Bullshit-ometer Column

Jim will find the truth

Eric Lalor

The transfer window officially opened on July 1st and with it a tsunami of lies and deceit.

In this new feature, we will look at one deliciously seductive rumour from the very finest of ITKs and assess the likelihood of it happening using a highly accurate Jim White system of scoring.

Player: Sergio Ramos – Real Madrid

Real Madrid's defender Sergio Ramos celebrates after scoring during the Spanish league football match Real Madrid CF vs Malaga FC at the Santiago Bernabeu stadium in Madrid on April 18, 2015.   AFP PHOTO/ GERARD JULIEN        (Photo credit should read GERARD JULIEN/AFP/Getty Images)

Rumour: Apparently, he has asked Madrid to allow him to join the Louis Van Gaal revolution at Manchester United. The rumour mongers cite his indifference to Madrid not paying him enough attention.

What? Yes, you see, if a club is not looking to extend your deal every two weeks, you are automatically assumed to be at loggerheads with them.

The latest is that Ramos isn’t going because United have right swiped on Nicolas Otamendi from Valencia. Louis’s gonna need a bigger transfer kitty to get both.

needy

Ramos is a hugely significant part of the Real Madrid set-up and one of the world’s best defenders. This has all the hallmarks of a player using his agent to spread rumours to get himself a better deal with the club he is already with.

Source: The whole world and blokes on Twitter pretending to be agents in the know.

Looks legit. Also, for no good reason:

https://twitter.com/FootballFunnys/status/618162539789053952

Likelihood: We don’t think it’ll happen, because at the end of the day (football speak right there lads), his mammy told the world that her boy is going nowhere. That and the fact he’s been playing happy families with Rafa Benitez and Florentino Perez back at training with Real.

https://twitter.com/RMadridHome/status/619252535228915712

Over to you Jim.

Jim White Rating:

JimWhiteLaughing

Jim laughs in the face of this particular rumour.