Why Gary Lineker, Lily Allen and you shouldn't comment
Don't comment if you're poor or disadvantaged, because you're a scrubber and a scrounger and basically a waste of space.
Don't comment if you've got any affiliation with a political party or social movement, or have previous for mouthing off about issues that matter to you, because you clearly have an agenda.
Don't comment if you've not commented about this before, because you're out of your depth and need to stick to what you know and what about all the other things in the world you're not commenting upon?
Don't comment if you've got 12 followers on Twitter because no one cares what you think, you unimportant loser. Don't comment if you've got 1.2 million followers because who do you think you are, you jumped up egotist?
Don't comment if you're brown or black or Muslim or Jewish or gay or trans or bi, because you just need to get over yourself and stop playing the victim all the bloody time.
Don't comment if you're none of the above because you're just a bleeding heart liberal leftard, who jumps onto bandwagons that have nothing to do with you. Wind your fucking neck in.
Don't comment if you're a woman because you're getting ideas above your station and you're too pretty to be worrying about that, or maybe you're just one of them feminazis and probably a lesbian.
Don't comment if you're rich or famous because you're a luvvie and you don't live in the real world, and why don't you open your own fucking home to them? Just like we take in orphans when we donate to Children In Need.
Don't comment if you haven't got the full facts because you're ill-informed and wrong. Don't comment if you're an expert in the field because we don't trust so-called experts and educated elites.
Don't care. Don't worry. Don't have compassion. Don't comment on anything or anyone that's not us. Don't question what 'us' is. Don't be offended. Don't feel guilty. Don't get angry. And don't fucking cry.
Don't comment. But yeah, free speech.
This article originally appeared on JOE.co.uk.
Enjoyed that? Keep reading, we have something else for you...
Check out the latest episode of SportsJOE Live - featuring Stephen Ferris, Paul Galvin, Dion Fanning and Conor's Sketches... Also, chipping golf balls into a washing machine and we finally discover just how hard is Colm Parkinson
Have a look, it's all good.
Read more about: