At the end of the day, you have definitely heard all of these…
Football commentators have a tough job. Michael Owen gets a particularly tough time for some of the quips that he has come out with in the past. When you’re coming out with gems like, “when they don’t score, they hardly ever win,” you deserve everything that’s coming to you.
As hilarious as that is, it’s important to understand that these men are paid to talk about football, and be asked on-the-spot questions for hours on end.
Chances are that anyone would say something stupid eventually. The point is, saying something stupid can be forgiven. But saying the same things over and over again for years, can not be. Here are the 13 most annoying football clichés that you have definitely heard too often.
“We’ll take it one game at a time…”
Of course you will… What the hell else are you going to do? Treat it like a FIFA manager mode and simulate half of the season?
“He’s not that type of player.”
This is normally how a British pundit justifies a British player doing something despicable on the pitch. If you ever hear this, chances are he is that type of player…
“He brings something different to the table.”
This is normally used to describe a big, burly centre-forward. A more accurate description would be, “he brings something worse to the table.”
See: Andy Carroll.
“It was a game of two halves.”
I mean, come on…
“Now because of away goals, this doesn’t really change anything. They still need to score.”
Also known as “The George Hamilton”.
“It’s actually good to see that. Not enough players have that bit of bite”
Normally used when a dirty player does something dirty.
“I’ve seen them given…”
Expert analysis here. The literal translation being “I am way too comfy sat on the fence here to make any sort of real decision.”
“The lads did fantastically well.”
I know it’s great to see a bit of modesty, but if you’ve just bagged a hat-trick, don’t be afraid to big yourself up a little bit. Be a bit braggadocious. We won’t hold it against you. If anything, it will make you seem a more genuine and less robotic. Just look at Theo Walcott describing the birth of his child to see how ingrained these football clichés really are.
Clip via showbiz tv
“If that’s on target, it goes in”
Yep. If it went in the goal, it would be a goal. Good spot.
“Now, a part of his game that’s underrated is X”
Let’s get one thing straight. If you say that Harry Kane’s passing is “underrated” every single week, it’s not underrated anymore. It’s the opposite.
“He’s got good feet for a big man”
Peter Crouch received this compliment for years. Hell, it nearly earned him a shock move to Chelsea last month.
“He has a cultured left-foot”
How cultured can a foot be, really?
