4/12 The Saturday Papers

Snow turns to ice, but a thaw in the west is promised, Jedward rake in the cash, Shay eyes the January sales and Mario Balotelli fights like a girl.

The Front Pages

News of sub-zero temperatures and financial woes dominate the front pages, as per usual.

“Sub-zero conditions to last for further week” says the doom-laden Irish Times, reporting that ice will replace the snow as the biggest hazard. There is good news weather-wise, but only for people in the west of the country, who will be able to “enjoy” a thaw.

Enjoy. Odd choice of word, that. Do the writers of the Times’ headlines really think that people in the west have so little in their life that watching snow turn to slush is something to “enjoy”?

The Times also reports that the potential coalition parties differ on tax, cuts and what to do about the public sector. No shit: if they agreed on everything, there’d just be the one party.

“Leave taxes alone and cut spending, warn public” is the main headline on the Irish Examiner. Their survey also reveals that most people want to abolish the Seanad and abolish the Croke Park agreement.

There’s a picture on the front of the Examiner of people having to walk down the tram tracks into central Dublin after the weather forced the Luas Green line to terminate at Beechwood Station between Rathmines and Ranelagh. The paper just about resisted pointing out that such a problem would have never happened if Cork was the capital.

Over on the Irish Independent’s front cover we’ve got the headline “Labour and Fine Gael at war over tax hikes” accompanying the story that on Friday the two parties clashed openly and bitterly on the key cuts and tax hikes needed to salvage the economy.

Plus, there’s the same picture of commuters walking down the Luas track as on the front of the Examiner, and there’s the story that X Factor hopeful Mary Byrne offered to do a DNA test to prove that daughter’s father was her former partner.

Tales from the Tabs

Mary Byrne and Jedward dominate the tabloids this Saturday.

“Jedward’s €1M deal” heralds The Irish Sun. The Brothers Grimes have gone and landed themselves a deal to front an ad campaign for moneysupermarket.com which involves them jetting off for filming in South Africa and pocketing €1M.

It goes to prove that they’re not just talentless muppets, they’re rich talented muppets.

The two flew in to Shannon on Friday and were driven across the country to perform for free at the Childline concert in Dublin – so make that charitable talentless muppets.

Meanwhile, “MaBy battles illness”, the Sun says. By battles illness they mean she’s got a sore throat. And over on the Irish Daily Mirror we’ve got “Don’t let her Byrne” accompanied by the most bleedin’ obvious call to action in the history of newspapers – “vote for Mary or she’ll be booted OUT”.

Away from the world of showbiz, the star leads with the story of brutal thug Derek Finley who denies murdering a mum-of-three but admits to giving her, in his words, a “merciless boot in the stomach”.

The Sports Pages

“QUACKERS” is writ large across the back page of the Mirror, accompanied by news that Qatar want to stage the 2022 World Cup Finals in January – fine if you’re playing in the League of Ireland, but we’re guessing that most players who get called up by their country will be playing in the top flight leagues of England, Germany, France, Spain and Italy, for whom the timing doesn’t exactly work.

The Star and The Mirror both have the picture of Manchester City’s petulant striker Mario Balotelli throwing a strop and taking issue with a tackle by Man City defender Jerome Boateng during a training session. If the images are anything to go by, this wasn’t so much as fisticuffs as the sort of thing you see when two drunken girls start rowing about the same man outside a nightclub on a Saturday night, i.e. it was all a bit lame.

Keeping the focus on Man City, there are more of the almost weekly reports that Shay Given is desperate to leave when the transfer window next opens in January. The Republic of Ireland international made only his third appearance of the season this week, when City beat Salzburg 3-0 in the Europa League.

The Sun lead with news that melty-faced manager Harry Redknapp has cleared the way for Robbie Keane to pack his bags and leave Spurs, probably to join Aston Villa.