The next Bond film will almost certainly be Daniel Craig’s last.
The search rumbles on for a new James Bond, aka 007, the martini-sippin’, tuxedo-wearing, fisticuff-having secret agent with extremely questionable ethics and an entire personality derived from making other people feel like shit.
Truly, the Great British hero if there ever was one.
Barbara Broccoli, an executive producer for the franchise, recently confirmed the shocking, shocking news that Bond will never be played by a woman, citing the fact that “We don’t have to turn male characters into women,” but should rather create original, meaningful leading roles for women in the first place.
It has now been revealed that Broccoli has her eye on the perfect replacement for Daniel Craig’s mumbly, chiselled turn as MI6’s finest, in the form of The Bodyguard’s leading man Kevin Costner.
No, wait.
The other Bodyguard’s leading man, Richard Madden. Yeah. This bloke! With a jawline twice as wide as his actual head somehow!
Bodyguard, BBC
You might better recognise Madden as the slightly grumpy eldest Stark brother in Game of Thrones, playing Robb, Lord of Winterfell and a legitimate contender for the Iron throne before he is *SPOILER* killed to death like just about every other good character in that cursed series.
Now, this is where it gets a bit shaky. A source said that “It is seriously looking like he [Madden] is going to get the job.”
“Not only is he top of Barbara’s list, but she is preparing to offer the role.”
This could be bad news for Idris Elba, who has been continuously linked to the role ever since your Da got really, really angry on Facebook at the suggestion of a black man playing James Bond circa 2014.
Kevin Costner, also, will be absolutely gutted. I was really ready for a Kevin Costner leading man renaissance, but alas. Sometimes in life, you can’t always get what you want. Which is why I will be watching Oliver Stone’s JFK exactly twice tonight to get my Costner fill.
The next instalment of Bond will hit cinemas around August next year, with the supremely gifted Cary Fukunaga (responsible for that tracking shot scene in Series 1 of True Detective) at the helm for what promises to be a vast improvement on the monumentally awful Spectre.
Truly, as a Bond film it was just a shadow of its former self. In conclusion: Madden = Bond maybe. I’m gonna go now. See ya.
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