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02nd May 2012

Horny Jesus for chop after getting frisky with woman

Jesus has been having a very active week for someone who's been dead for around 2,000 years. He chased a family up a tree and then he got pepper-sprayed by the cops.

JOE

Jesus has been having a very active week for someone who’s been dead for around 2,000 years. He chased a family up a tree and then he got pepper-sprayed by the cops.

Norway is a strange and beautiful place, but Jesus head-butting cops and going a bit bat sh*t crazy is not exactly something you’d expect.

You’ve probably guessed it by now, but it’s not actually the real Jesus Christ. It is in fact a goat which a Norwegian farmer decided to christen Jesus.

We’d hazard a guess that even if Jesus did come down for another spell here on the mortal coil then the southern coast of Norway wouldn’t be his first choice.

Either way, Jesus the goat is right at home on the southern island of Fugløya. Something obviously angered him this week, though, because he chased a mother and her child up a tree.

The horny 80-kilo animal wasn’t too happy when the woman’s husband called the Norwegian constabulary either.

Police officer Børge Steinsland told fvn.no: “It charged straight at a constable, leading to what can only be described as a fight between the two. It was really angry.

“They were quite simply forced to use pepper spray to drive the wild animal away.”

Jesus’s owner, Tor Brede Launes, has decided that it’s his time to go. “Clearly he can’t behave like this. He’ll probably be replaced by Midsummer,” he said.

Tor has decided that Jesus will end up on the barbecue, “Goat’s meat is delicious,” he said.

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