Uncategorized | 6 years ago
Is Britain's most expensive footballer Andy Carroll also its worst dresser?
When Liverpool paid £35m for the talented but clearly overpriced Andy Carroll, we were shocked. When we saw his Glastonbury get-up, however, we fell off our seats.

When Liverpool paid £35m for the talented but clearly overpriced Andy Carroll, we were shocked. When we saw his Glastonbury get-up, however, we fell off our seats.

By Emmet Purcell

Let’s be honest, the former Newcastle target man is a confusing guy.

Whether he’s palling up with club rival star Wayne Rooney (same music festival last weekend, same holiday resort the week before), or dragging boss Kenny Dalglish to a Boyzone concert, we really don’t know what to make of the 21-year-old.

The Boyzone concert was especially puzzling to us, particularly when King Kenny later refused allegations concerning the player’s drinking habits by telling reporters: “I’ve been with him at Boyzone concerts and he’s still never bought me a drink!” Wait a second… how many concerts and which poor soul is forcing the other to attend?

Carroll’s, shall we say ‘unique’ ensemble at last weekend’s Glastonbury Festival confirmed a notion that we at JOE had held for quite some time – the guy is stark raving mad.

Where do we begin with this outfit, aside from this the obvious question - it’s a joke, right? There is no way a mega-earning Liverpool star actually thinks that they look good. It's the kind of outfit that former Red Andriy Voronin and his missus would probably baulk at, or perhaps only wear once.

Here, for reasons known only to himself, is Andy in an orange man-bra

Advertisement

That was our opinion before we were kindly informed of the existence of Carroll's man-bra, pictured above. So perhaps the player actually thinks he looks the business.

So let’s start with the hat. It’s not a very nice hat, is it? Adorned with beads and displaying a thin brim, it’s at least less noticeable considering the record signing has teamed his hat with a sky blue old lady head scarf. Again, this makes absolutely no sense.

Carroll’s headwear is then topped off with a vomit-inducing purple rain jacket, red hoodie, tight ¾ length jeans (thankfully out of shot) and manly black wellies.

Considering how notoriously press-shy footballers can be, we're doomed to never truly finding out what was going on with this outfit, the man-bra and frequent trips to see Ronan Keating singing 'Shhhorrrry..." amid a sea of barren-wombed, cat-loving middle-aged women. Fashion victim or fashion enigma? We'll probably never know for sure.

Well hello there...


On Episode 11 of Ireland's first social chat show we have comedy duo Enya Martin and Aoife Dooley, an exclusive chat with Andy Serkis and a brilliant Major Lazer cover from Road Wives!


Comedy troupe Shifts have their take on the wait for pay day, Kymann Power faces off against Joe Gorman in a shootout and we look at what life is like for all the gingers out there...