JOE’s tribute to lobsters

In Stuff in JOE's head this week, we take a look at one of the most amazing animals on Earth - the lobster.

By Conor Hogan

Are you the kind of guy used to the finer things in life? Do you eat in restaurants night after night, washing down Iranian caviar with cuvée de prestige. Well here's something that might put you off. That lobster you are about to tuck into for your main course could be very old. In fact, there's a good chance he's older than you.

The strange fact about lobsters is that they are immortal. By immortal, I don't mean that they can't die. If you run one over with a truck or stab it with a pitchfork or infect it with terminal disease, it will undoubtedly brush off its immortal coil. Unlike humans, however, aging, or senescence as we shall call it for the rest of this article, just doesn't occur with them.

A lobster doesn't slow down, weaken or become more prone to disease as they age, while their fertility rate doesn't slow down. On the contrary, the older a lobster is the more fertile it becomes. The reason for this negligible sensescence is that the telomerase levels of a losbster don't decline in later life. (Telomerase is an enzyme that lengthens a region of repetitive DNA which protects the end of a chromosome from deteriorating.)

Lobster tank

If you were to put a lobster in a giant tank, feed it and keep it free from disease, in theory the crustacean could live forever. Well, obviously not forever, as forever doesn't actually exist, as we all know the Earth and the Universe will die, and the human who is feeding him will die, and the human race will die out. But theoretically, we could keep him alive for a very very long time.

Somebody boiling a lobster

There should also be no limit to how big the lobster can get either. They constantly shed their exoskeletons throughout their lives, only to replace them with bigger, stronger ones. The largest lobster ever found was caught in Nova Scotia in 1977 - he was three feet and five inches in length and weighed three stone, six pounds and six ounces. As they don't degenerate over time, it is difficult to tell what age these creatures are, except to guess by their size. This one was certainly over 100 years old, though it could have been closer to 150.

Amazing abilities

Other than their ability to defy the aging process, lobsters have also a couple of other fantastic abilities. When they are attacked, they can shed their external body parts and grow them back later. Lobsters can also smell amino acid, have teeth in their stomachs and can eat their own shell when in need of calcium.

A common misconception about these creatures is that they do not feel pain. This is not the case as studies conducted in Belfast and Bristol in 2009 suggest that crustaceans have "a suitable central nervous system and receptors" and that they experience "something akin to pain, rather than fixed, reflex responses." It is claimed that lobsters are boiled alive so that they taste fresher, though it is hard to suggest that such a practice isn't cruel.

Lobsters may be tasty, but you should also remember that they are fascinating animals with many extraordinary qualities. We should learn from the lobster, for one day they may be our masters.